“Hello bloodsports fans, here with your Monday night Dawgz update I am Verner Hishog, your imperial journalist of the esoteric, sublime, and sometimes downright stupid (like the depths of a chicken's eyes...).

But I digress, yesterday's match between the two teams at the top of the fixture was an expectedly bloody affair. Despite losing seven players, malware from questionable gambling difference engines sabotaging their contraptions, and some particularly foul smelling attempts at vocalisation and air guitar from new zombie skab Gary Shankbone (former ring in of In Halen via the Glam), the the diminutive card sharps were able to secure a draw. A small mercy for the local mortician who won't have to listen to the unnatural guttural gurgling of 'Unholy Driver' that comes with your typical Skabs win.

One of the highlights of the match was Black Jack the bomber almost single handedly turning over The Skabs' starting drive. Black Jack's on-field antics made him particularly popular with the crowd. However popularity on the blood bowl pitch can be a double edged sword. When Gene Summoned pushed him into the crowd everybody wanted a piece of Black Jack: literally. With that kind of fan service no wonder Gene was voted MVP for the Skabs.

After that The Skabs kept taking more Bets off the field and with the gnomish contraptions on the fritz the gnomes just couldn't get their hands on the ball. But preoccupied with the skittering movements of The Bet's mechs The Skabs just couldn't move fast enough to take advantage.”