“Hello Blood Sports Fans! It is I the hairy saurkraut Verner Hishog.

Although there wasn't a great deal of blood this game, as believe it or not skeletons tend not to bleed much, there was a good deal of violence.

The first half of the match saw the Saw Bones almost pitch cleared on their drive. The Saws started strong taking control of the line of scrimmage, but Dr. Nick fumbled the spiked ball into his face turn two. I guess we can see how he flunked out of medical school. This left the Saw's backfield open. The Pains took advantage of this and might reconsider a name change to pains in the backside. Like some kind of necrotic sciatica, The Pain Killer paralysed the saws for the remainder of the drive... Just like I find myself paralysed when I am forced to choose between sparkly chocolate and sprinkled salted caramel ice cream. I'm loosing my train of thought just thinking about it... Ah yes, the Pain Killer scooped up the ball and knocked undead doctors over like the loosely held together piles of bones they are.

The Saw's necromancer must be some kind of weird fanatic, like Klaus Kinky... he can never put his latex away that lovable pervert... But the necromancer regenerated all of the Saw's casualties giving them a full team for the second half. No thanks to the officious ref that banned three of the Saw's players before finally ejecting an enraged Coach Grande from the stadium.

With Coach Grande gone Captain Hawkeye took the opportunity to take revenge on Dr. Crusher for jilting him and blew her up twice. The team wizard also sensed an opportunity slipped away unnoticed. Unconfirmed reports suggests they might have headed off to the Glam's first post season orgy. Erotical magics are always in high demand there....

But despite these rather cheeky displays of insubordination the desire for revenge from the first half seemed to motivate the Saws. Some early removals in the second half, lucky blitzes and an inspired throw from Captain Hawkeye managed to stop The Pains from scoring a second time.

Nonetheless, this still left the Pains (and lovers of random acts of violence) the winners of this game.

Until next time remember, that I am superior to you plebs (especially that cretin Coach Grande) in every way that matters.

Yours Haughtily,

Verner



”