“Good evening Blood Bowl fans and welcome to another Mordheim Legion Broadcast. My name is Merlin Oldsoul and I will be your commentator for tonight’s match. This match promises to be a great one as the Legion has traveled to Fools Point to face the rival Rangers. The Legion is coming off it’s first loss of the season which came at the hands of the Waldenhof Mousillon Thunder. A game in which the Legion lead in all relevant statistics except the only one that mattered. The Final Score.

*Cough*Horse Droppings! *Cough*

Ah I almost forgot. Joining me at least for tonight in the booth as a color commentator is the former Rangers catcher Ally McCoist. McCoist played exactly 30 games for the Rangers in Fool’s Point scoring 6 touchdowns and 4 MVP awards. He retired last week after taking a stomping from the Nuln Gunners. I don’t know how that makes him qualified to analyze the match. Nevertheless he is here.

*Cough* Thanks Merlin Oldsack. The Rangers come into this match following one of the most brutal engagements of this young season. They managed a draw against the Nuln Gunners but the story of the match was the accumulation of injuries. Fool’s Point inflicted three injuries and woefully suffered six of their own. The Rangers will be short handed as I will not be on the field and neither will TJ, BamBam, Greig, Coops, or Davenport.

*Grunt* P$$$Y *Grunt*

Did you say something Oldsack?....I didn’t think so. Anyway, according to league statisticians, Legion is favored with a current strength rating of 1260 versus the Rangers at 950. *Grunt*

Ok. Enough for the boring stuff McCoist. Lets get on with the game. Legion is set to receive and the ball lands near the southern sideline. All three mercenary blitzers are on the ground. Here comes Knuckles to welcome them to the league. What's that noise? There is an immediate whistle and the referee has shown Knuckles the red card. That is preposterous. How can you expel the reigning Von Kassel Award winner for kicking a useless mercenary?

*Cough* Come on Oldsack. You know Jones gets away with that all the time. That mercenary has a family and that ref just proved he has a heart. Crud! Artair picked up the ball. Two players holding up McFamous. Around the corner comes the blister Hill. McFamous doesn't see him coming. A beautiful shot in the back looks to have badly hurt McFamous. I don’t think he’ll be back in this game. Hill moves down to assist against Maddox. Tejon comes to make it 4 against one and a heavy boot will knock Maddox out of the game too.*Cough*

Hold on McCoist! How can that ref call the foul on Knuckles and completely ignore that dirty shot?

*Cough* The ref can do anything he wants.*Cough*

Still at least be consistent. Legion is in a tough spot now. Surrounded by Rangers. Tejon is coming for Artair who tries to dump it off to Kizer but he can’t hold on. The ball bounces around but somehow ends up in the hands of O’Daniel. O'Daniel is hit by four different Rangers one after the other but he refuses to fall. Murtair is boneheaded on the ground. O’Daniel has no choice. He blitzes uphill against both Steinsdottir and one of the mercenaries. It gives him enough room to dodge away. He is giving it all he has. He almost tripped as he went into the endzone but stayed on his feet. Touchdown LEGION!

*Cough*Horse Droppings. *Cough*

That cough is getting annoying McCoist. I know it is a lung injury from your last match and I’m not sure you are well enough to announce tonight.

*Cough*I’ll be fine. Thanks for the concern. And you can call me “Super” McCoist. It’s in my contract. *Cough*

Good news Legion fans. Bullet is on the bench waiting to come back in when the offense is back on the field. The foul proved to be an amateur one that will only result in a bit of bruising tomorrow. Legion returns the ball to the Rangers and their thrower hustles in to pick it up and then steps back behind a screen while his receiver work down the field. The receivers are well protected so Murtair charges in to put pressure on the thrower along with two other Legionnaires. Teague makes the dodge from menacing tacklers then makes the toss to Murphy who easily takes it to the house.

*Cough* Yes! Take that. You can’t contain that skill. The only way that could have been better is if JT were still throwing it to me. *Cough*

The ball is returned to the Legion and this time there will be no shenanigans. Most of the Legion sets up in the Southern sideline and they are swarmed by the Rangers. Time is running out in the half but something is happening on the Northern side of the field. Kizer blitzed Tejon and they both go down in a wrestling match. That puts the rookie Slayton 1 vs 1 with the thrower Teague. Artair sees it and bolts North then lobs it over the head of Teague. Teague is lost. He didn't even see the ball. Slayton catches it then easily dodges away. Touchdown LEGION! The first one in the career of Mr. Irrelevant Darius Slayton proving he is more than relevant.

*Cough*Horse droppings.*Cough*

No time left. Wow what a push! Good pass from Teague to Groningen who will dance down the sideline uncontested to end the half. A disheartening score for Fool's Point.

*Cough* That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Rangers for LIFE!*Cough*

Well, we certainly have ourselves a ball game. The coaches talk to the ref and both sides agree to skip halftime so we will get the action going again.

Rangers get the ball to start the second half. The ball lands in the hands of the blitzer Justice Hill. Here comes Knuckle’s understudy the “Razor” Ryan Davis. He makes his presence known on the head of Luke Larue forcing the apothecary into action. Sadly it looks like Larue is going to be ok. Now Tejon comes in with a foul on “The Wart.” At last the ref saw something and Tejon is shown the red card even if the Wart is badly hurt.

“Cough” More horse droppings.”

Murtair seems to have badly hurt Carl Tastrophy on the northern side of the field. Now Teague returns the favor with a blitz that hurts “the Razor.” Hill no longer wants the ball so he hands it to the catcher behind him who makes a mad dash up the Northern sideline alone. Munoz has a clear shot on him but fails to bring him down. No one will catch him. That is another score for the Rangers two on the night for that catcher.

At least there is still time on the clock to equalize. The ball is in the air. BLITZ incoming! Murphy comes to pressure the thrower but fails a dodge and knocks himself out of the game. Artair has the ball and this looks familiar with Bullet on the North sideline and Mr. Irrelevant in the South. This is going to be the last play of the match. Slayton screens Hill away from the ball. Pass complete to Bullet who will walk it into the endzone and even the proceedings at 3 touchdowns each.

The whistle blows and that is how the game will end. What a match! A well earned draw.

*Cough* Horse droppings. *Cough*

As the teams leave the field this is your host Merlin Oldsoul and a color commentator Super Ally McCoist signing off for this week. We hope you will join us next week when your Mordheim Legion go to Averheim to face the River Bandits. Until then may Nurgle ignore you and goodbye.
”