“Good afternoon everyone and welcome to another Mordheim Legion Broadcast. My name is Merlin Oldsoul and I am accompanied by my co-host “Super” Ally McCoist. Today’s game will put the Mordheim Legion led by Coach Kondor against the Talabheim Sluggers coached by the legendary Meanandugl. The Legion is entering this game after their second loss of the season. This time it was to the River Bandits. They hope to get off on the right foot today versus a talented team from Talabheim.

*Cough* Well this time they will have a home field advantage so anything is possible. Still, I hope they get crushed. Nothing like watching warpstoned mutant fans weeping. However, statistically speaking the Sluggers should have the upper hand. The leagues gives them a strength rating of 1720 while poor little Legion is only rated at 1280. Oh, I do hope that rating finally matters. I hope the pitch is covered with Legionnaire remains. I hope….*Cough*

Yeah. We get it ya hack. Fortunately the teams have taken the field and the referee signaled for the match to commence. The Sluggers are receiving. As expected thrower out of BYWho University Steve Young has the ball and moved quickly behind his screen. This Young fella has talent. Expect him to excel in the league….Unless of course inadvertently gets too close to a surly ogre like Max Murtair.

You can tell these teams are top tier teams. The Talabheirm squad settles in behind a solid screen and the Legionnaires set a solid defensive line waiting for the Sluggers to commit to one side of the field. A blitz here, a block there and a foul from time to time but neither side can find a weakness to immediately poke through.

It looks like Legion has put a target on the Ogre “Booger” McFarland. They are trying everything to bring him down. Knuckles is hovering like a vulture for the big guy to fall and while he waits he tags targets of opportunity with minor fouls. Meanwhile the Sluggers have methodically taken control of the Southern sideline. Young tries a cheeky hand off to the full-back Alstott just to see him drop it. This will make things interesting. Kizer does manage to pick it up for the Legion but his pass was a prayer to Nuffle that went unanswered. Rather the ball goes out of bounds and is punted by the fans into the hands of Slugger blitzer Randall McDaniel. McDaniel waltzes in for the first score of the game.
*Cough* At least they scored but I’m still hoping those muscle heads can do a little better. They look like ballerinas out there. The lot are a bunch of twinkle toes.*Cough*

Artair has the Ball for Legion and Murtair finally manages to pull down Booger. As predicted Knuckles makes a vallient effort with his foul but that is the most heavily armored player I’ve ever seen. Booger’s turned his armor up to 11. Spinal Tap would be proud. The first good hit of the game goes to Talebheim who puts the Wart on the bench for a spell. There it is! Murtair found a chink in the armor. Booger is wishing he had dialed it up to 12 because 11 was not good enough. He is being carried off the field and with that hit I am sure he won’t be back this game.

That got their attention. Now Artair passes to Bullet and the Legion move into position to score. Knuckles takes a shot to the chops knocking him out of the game but hopefully that is temporary. In the South McFamous occupies a quartet of Sluggers by rolling into the fetal position. Dirty Gunner Darth does his best to find a soft spot but Seamus is rolled up tighter than a potato bug at harvest time. Bullet scores and the refs pull all four Sluggers away from Seamous who dusts himself off and jogs to the huddle.

*Horse droppings. They’ve got to do better than that. And what good is all that armor on McFarland if a strong wind is enough to knock him out of the match. Report from the training room is that he has strained his back and may not even be back for the team’s next game. Disgraceful. Suck it up Buttercup and get back out there. *Cough*

Ok. Legion receives to open the second half of play. Knuckles is still on the bench so the Razor comes in to spell him. Razor is not as cunning as Knuckles but if he lives long enough he has potential and his boots are just as heavy. Artair takes the kick and retreats out of blitzing range of the Sluggers. This is interesting. The Sluggers are tied up in a “punch me formation.” All the Legionnaires are standing and poised to deliver some counter punches. Yep. O’Daniel injures Pronous and two other Sluggers are stunned. A fourth is knocked prone. Bullet has the ball in scoring position behind an organized screen. LaRoche responds by taking out frustrations on the merc blitzer in front of him. And that my friends is why you should hire mercs every chance you get. Let them take the punishment you are paying them to sustain.

Bullet scores but before he does McFamous exacts some retribution. Gunner Darth is writhing in pain as McFamous stands over him taunting. You can hear him reminding Darth of the multiple fouls he delivered in the first half. Indeed, one shot from Seamus seems far more effective than a dozen of Gunner’s boots.

Once again Legion is obliged to return the ball to Talabheim. Once again the Sluggers are methodical. It will be difficult to pry the ball from them. It seems Knuckles has decided to take the rest of the game off as Razor is still on the field. He puts the boot to J.J Brodie but it is in vain. The referee shows him a red card punching his one way ticket to the locker room. Now the armor is popping. Three more Legionnaires head for the bench as does a Slugger. It won’t matter. The Sluggers have turned the corner and set a back screen to prevent Legion from reaching the ball. Butler will carry it in to ensure a draw. A crying shame.

*Cough* Yea. A shame not a single, stinkin’ Legionnaire will be scared in this one. Seriously, this is what they ask me to spectate? Hey Oldsack. What are we going to watch next week?*Cough*

As the match ends this is Merlin Oldsoul reminding you that next week you should tune in to watch what promises to be a spectacular affair. Legion goes to Aarnau to face their most bitter rival the Manticores. The Manticores are the reigning champions and until someone knocks them off they have all the bragging rights. Until then we wish you well. Farewell.
”