“Good day everyone and welcome to another Mordheim Legion Broadcast. I am coming to you from the Wastelands city of Aarnau for the latest installment of the rivalry between the Manticores and the Mordheim Legion. It is easy to understate that there is bad blood between these two teams. The Manticores have controlled the division for several season and even hoisted the league trophy in season 12.

*Cough* Horse Dropping. They are both over rated. I’ve hired an equipment boy to line both teams jock straps with itching powder. Lets make this one interesting. A pox on both teams. I hope they all die on the pitch. FOOL’S POINT RANGER for life.*Cough*

Ah yes. Joining me once again we have the former star player of the Fool’s Point Rangers, “Super” Ally McCoist for color commentary. As I was saying, as we hit the midpoint of the season, the Manticores lead the division but are coming off back to back draws. Likewise, Legion’s last match was played to a draw. I have to agree with Kondor’s point of view on this. He has often been quoted as saying “A tie game is like kissing your sister. Sure, you can do it, and at times it may be appropriate. However, neither of you should ever get anything out of it.” Lets hope there is a clear victor in this match.

*Cough*I’d settle for some clear carnage.*Cough*

Legion has the ball and immediately the rookie lineman Buuren scurries to the bench. It seems he is not being paid enough risk his life this drive. The ball has been given to Bullet but he is not very well protected. Smith makes the turn around the corner and brings down Bullet. Artair picks it up and is well positioned on the Southern side of the field. Boulder McCollum and Thatcher combine to send 2 Legion blitzers to the hospital. Both look to have lasting injuries.

*Cough*That’s it boys! Forget the scoreboard. Show the Legionnaires they are human. It’s ‘bout time!*Cough*

A quick hand of from Artair to Bullet and Bullet will score. Whooooah what kind of celebration is that Bullet? Get yer hand out of yer gear. You’ll draw a fine for that. There are halflings watching the M.L.B. (Mordheim Legion Broadcast)

*Cough*Snicker.*Cough*

The Manticores take the ensuing kick off. McCullum has seen enough from Knuckles. Knuckles is no fool. He goes down feigning an injury. He is safe on the bench for this drive. Not to worry. Razor puts the boot to Gedeon to even the numbers on the field. Next in line for the boot is Clayton Green. He’ll be gone for the match but that one was more flagrant. The ref saw that one and has ejected Razor from the game.

What is going on? Everyone has there hands in their pants. Even the ref seems to be using the red card to scratch an itch. That is disgusting. He should keep that thing in his pocket.

*Cough*Snicker. I didn’t know the ref used the same equipment boy. What an unexpectedly lovely turn of events. *Cough*

McFamous gets in on the action hurting the blitzer Olix. On the norther side of the field the Manticores have an impenetrable screen. Legion will be content nibbling at stragglers who get too close. The first half ends in a draw and somehow both teams will be able to field 11 players to start the match.

The Manticores open with the ball and take quick control with little to slow them. Two more Legionnaires are carted off the field. The blitzer O’Daniel has suffered a shoulder injury. There go his hopes to double as a third string thrower for the team. Look out. Knuckles is back on the field and he is sly! No fewer than seven Legionnaires have Ferenc Revesz surrounded. Careful, he is already niggled up. McFamous runs interference with the ref as Knuckles delivers a fatal foul. And that my friends is why it is called Blood Bowl. He dies a glorious death on the pitch.

*Cough* Whatever. Dead is dead. The fool should have hung up his helmet long ago. At least that is one less Manticore to face the Rangers. This has been the best match of the season. A trio of permanently injured Legion blitzers. It couldn’t be any better.*Cough*

There is a moment of silence for Revesz. Except that the players and staff have one hand over there heart and one hand in their pants. Hold on. Coach Hovring has pulled aside one of the equipment boys and is shaking him. Wait a minute. By the gesutures Hovering is pointing out that the lad is the only one on the field not scratching himself. The lad is terrified. He looks around and now he is pointing. Pointing straight at this broadcast booth.

McCoist. What is going on. Why are they pointing at us? McCoist where have you gone? Hello Mr. Security Ogre. I don’t know where McCoist has gone. His coughing stopped right after Revesz went down. Check the stable. I’ve been told he invested in some fast horses this morning.

Ahh. The match resumes. Almost no time left but Legion will attempt an infamous 1 turn touchdown to tie up the game. With the help of a Aarnau player they give Bullet a Brotherly Shove up the field. Artair picks up the ball and throws it to Bullet. Bullet gets up to full speed and hurdles over Isaiah Johnson and into the end zone for a walk off Touchdown!

Well Kondor. It looks like tonight Legion just kissed their sister. Did you get anything out of it?
”