“Good evening everyone. Tonight we have a primetime match up on the M.L.B. (Mordheim Legion Broadcast). My name is Merlin Oldsoul and I will be announcing the game alone tonight. My normal cohost went missing after the last match between Legion and the Manticores. In fact, both Coach Kondor and Coach Hovring found common ground for the first time ever. They are offering a 1,000 gold piece reward to anyone who brings him to one of there offices alive. 1,500 gold pieces if he has been severely beaten before delivery.

Now, on to tonight’s match-up. This brings two old friends and rivals in their first head to head clash as coaches of DLE teams. Kondor is in his third season at the helm of the Mordheim Legion while BenAwesome is a fixture in the DLE and is currently coaching the Gunners of Nuln.

Often these coaches have side wagers on their matches. Ben was asked about that and he sadly shook his head and was heard to say. “No. Since moving to Mordheim, Kondor has become more reclusive and difficult to reach. I even tried to send my favorite witch elf to Mordheim to cheer him up. He would not even meet with her. Kondor, if you are listening you should know that you hurt her deeply by rejecting her. It’s your funeral man but know that you have people out here that still care about you.”

That was a curious message. Kondor declined to comment except to say he may have more information after the match.

Well, here in Nuln we are midway through the season and the temperature has started to turn. The autumn winds have started up which may play havoc with the ball. Legion will receive the deep kick and go to work. It looks like the rookie Isil is down on the pitch he is going to be an easy target for Knuckles. Caramba that foul was loud! You would have thought there was buckshot in his boot. The ref comes to inspect Knuckle’s gear and Knuckles seems genuinely confused. The entire toe of his boot was blown off but no damage was done to the rookie. Knuckles is being sent off for illegal gear but he is protesting that he has been framed. I have to agree with him. Knuckles is a professional, if he were to use such a contraption, he would make sure it functioned so he would not get caught. This smells like home field cooking.

As you can imagine the crowd is delirious with joy. Last season’s Van Kassel Award winner has been ejected before the game even starts. Let that be a lesson to every young fan watching the match. Check your gear for sabotage before every game.

The ref signals for the match to resume. Kizer has not even picked up the ball and the Gunners are charging through the line. In desperation, Bullet rushes back and picks it up then tries to chuck it down the field. Yeah. He is no quarterback. The ball comes out. That is an easy defensive scoop and score for the Gunners. Touchdown scored by the blitzer Chase Bydem.

At least the Gunners have to give the ball back after scoring. This time it is a short kick picked up by Bullet. He takes it from the Northern sideline to the Southern. The Gunners recover well and set up a good defensive line. But they have underestimated the speed of the Bullet. He leaps out of the grasp of Chad Thomas and runs up field and back to the Northern sideline. They are not going to catch him so they have to be content with knocking Seamus McFamous out of the game through a solid block by Kevin Perele. Bullet will score but not before another Legionnaire is badly hurt.

The ball returns to the Gunners with time to play in the first half. There is no stopping them. Legion can’t even slow them down. An easy score by Tankre will give the Gunners the 2-1 lead going into the second half.

The two teams have come back out on the field but Kondor is nowhere to be seen. Some random assistant coach is walking the sideline. Hold on. That is not the Legions normal assistant coach. If I am not mistaken, that coach is a witch elf. This is highly irregular.

The Gunners once again have the ball and control. Excellent screening on the ball. No place for the Legion to get penetration. Hold on I just received a note from a courier. I am to read the message on M.L.B.. It says “Make sure Ben hears. Payment has been made. Kondor has left the stadium and is enroute to the witch’s abode. Hestia is coaching the rest of the game.” Does anyone know what that means?

On the field, the impossible has happened. Tankre tripped getting away from Murtair and coughed up the ball. Bullet picked it up and runs down the Southern sideline in front of Coach Ben Awesome. Coach Awesome just received word of our announcement. He dropped his clipboard, said a word to his assistant coach and sprinted for the exit. The assistant shrugged and communicated something to the team PR manager. I have no idea what is going on but Bullet just scored to even the game at 2 points each.

Again the Gunners have the ball and they are making it look easy. Hold on. What is happening. It is raining tomatoes on the Northern side of the field. They are aimed at the Witch Elf acting as the assistant coach. But the tomatoes have distracted Chase Bydem. He snaked that block and left a slight path to the ball carrier. Legion takes full advantage by opening the hole a bit wider and blitzing through with Kallen Baladge. The thrower Halley is down and Bullet has picked up the ball.

The witch on the sideline is beside herself. She is screaming at the Refs, at Bullet, at Bydem. It is clear that she does not want the ball in Bullet’s hands. This is surreal. The Legion acting coach is clearly trying to throw the match and neither Coach Kondor nor Coach Ben Awesome are in the arena. And what is with the tomatoes that continue to rain from the fans aimed at the Legion acting coach. Bullet will walk into the end zone for a win but not before Murtair injures one Gunner and a tiny foul by Knuckles injures another. Tomatoes continue to fall and the Legionnaires run to the shelter of the locker room. The witch elf has disappeared and is gone.

Hold on I just saw the Gunner assistant coach walk past the announcing booth. Hey Buddy, can you tell me what is going on? Why did Kondor and Ben Awesome leave the field? Uh hu…That is not good…Ok….Thanks. He says “The authorities have been dispatched to the witch’s manor, and the last thing Ben Awesome did was direct the PR director to arm the fans on the Northern sideline with tomatoes. He said they would know what to do with them. Then he said he hoped he was not too late and asked everyone to pray to the Emperor for him and Kondor.

This is dire news for Legion and Gunner fans alike. Dire news for the entire D.L.E.. Still the M.L.B. contract with the league limits after game commentary so I have to sign off. Farewell from Nuln. The final score is Legion 3 and Gunners 2. May the emperor guard Ben Awesome and Kondor.
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