“Coaches fivehead and jingus took to the field yet again this Monday afternoon for an exhibition between fivehead's Black orcs and jingus's freshly-recruited Karlsdair vikingfolk. Meeting in the old park-at-the-plains location of Ilkingdale for this match, quite the colorful crowd was drawn to the spectacle of such a sporting event.

Fivehead entered today's ballgame with quite the chip on his shoulder, having been dealt more than a few esteem-crushing blows from jingus's multi-million dollar upstart franchises in the past week. So he took to the sidelines with reservation and an optimistic cool, one that seemed to both soothe and empower his players, even after ceding a first-half touchdown.

Such cool was quite an asset when pulled face-to-face with the sinewed, smelly, and bearded Karlsdairians. As he has done before, Jingus travelled far and wide to find untapped potential for the field-- this new team of his have been all but colonized from their home village and inveigled on to the black-blooded blades of pitch grass, the red sun sparkling hotly over the brine in the running Kris River.

And leading the Vikings was a quite tonally divergent player-- none other than the demi-daemonic chaos spawn, Scyla Anfingrimm. It's any squigg's guess how Jingus got him on board for this match, but the coaching staff of elves à la mode had more to worry about in the moment.

As mentioned, the orcs did let an early-game touchdown through their defensive line. This was most singly attributable to a gaffe in fivehead's orders that let #3 Valkyrie Ásgerðr Aridóttir carry the ball from one far-flank to the other near unopposed, lining up a straight lane to the endzone that the lurching orcs could do little to stand in the way of. The score wasn't allowed, however, before a nasty foul by #13 Bik Zolus, who'd crush the trachea of a confused Strykollr Authketillson, removing him from commission for a few months at least.

But fivehead and his trusty orcs and goblins stayed as level-headed as possible, showing skillful placement and command in the second portion of the first half. #14 Trained Troll "Yogurt" Zdz showed great capability in tying up the threatening Anfingrimm, and seemed to be putting together his best performance yet with the team, until he gulped down fan-favorite #12 Urul Da Fast on a late-half teammate-toss attempt. This was Zdz's second teammmate eaten in four games (his last victim being the randy, bony, bastard Azog Bern).

So the first-half scoring attempt lie thwarted- but the orcs continued to throw good blocks, removing the Norsemen from the field wherever possible. Jingus was still able to field a full eleven against fivehead's team in the second half, putting a considerable obstacle in the way of a tying TD effort. But a sky-high kick allowed #4 Black Orc Lung to secure the ball and form a quick-strike offense. The orcs stood in strategic offensive position, prodding at their opponents until in one moment it all seemed to go awry for the Vikings, who had two linemen and one Ulfwerenar removed from the field in a single bloody beat of the war drum.

And from then the drive seemed inevitable. More Vikings lay stunned on the field, even the red-daemon flesh of Anfingrimm was bruised and bloody. #14 Goblin Bruiser Oni Tubz ran happily into the endzone, like she was greeting an old friend. This was her second career TD, her last being in late 2022 against coach danvanan's Groovy Ghoulies.

Unfortunately for fivehead, the bash of his opponent's roster chewed the clock quite thoroughly, and left very little time on the clock to exploit the now-won war of attrition on the field. The game ended in a 1-1 tie, but it was a success sorely needed for the teetering morale of the ol' elves a la mode. ”