“THE GOOD:

Coach fivehead took to the field this Thursday against long-time rival Oprah, and his squad of black orcs came out swinging. The Laubach K-women, a neophyte sort of team largely unbaptized by the blood of the pitch had their efforts stitched together by the grit and grime of coach Oprah, the legendary Zolcath the Zoat, and one Evander Silenteagle, a capable one-game journeywoman linebacker signee. The orcs, having lost three of their last four, forced a kick-off turnover and team TD-leader Reiza notched its fifth career carriage into the endzone. Black Orc Mug Lung hit great form again in this match, dealing an early casualty to the limited roster of the K-Women. And a hearty foul sidelined #9 Jess Pretopapa early on.

THE BAD:

This loss was a floundering concession of Coach fivehead-- who perhaps most egregiously saw red in his strategies (or lack thereof) in this week's matchup. Grinding the end-of-half TD was a best-case scenario for him in the early side of the match: he used this success, unfortunately, to breathe an all-too-long sigh of relief that allowed the K-Women to score 2 late-game touchdowns and take their second win against the team. He let his orcs and bruisers rest on their (rather green) laurels, and Oprah, ever the opportunist, exploited this to the fullest. Also in the playbills of the second-half follies for fivehead was a dislocated shoulder injury on backfield Bruiser Oni Tubz, whose career hangs in limbo as she'll now try to reconcile this injury with her still-burgeoning skillset.

TILL NEXT TIME, OPRAH
”