“The Mary's Land Terrible Terrapins persist through oppressive heat for a 2-0 victory over the U of Louitch-vile Angry Birds
The Mary's Land Terrible Terrapins took another big step forward to their ultimate goal of making it to the postseason by gutting out a tough win over the U of Louitch-vile Angry Birds in a game played in the excessive heat so common to the summer months. While the remaining three games on the schedule will be some of the toughest the Terrapins will face all season, this win puts the postseason very much in reach for this team with only one more win required to make all their pre-season goals come true.
The game did not start well, despite the irrepressible duo of Dribl and Drull making another surprise start for their former university, with the Terrapins taking the initial kickoff but quickly getting bogged down in the middle of the field as the apothecaries worked hard to keep Saurus' on the pitch through some advanced head trauma treatment techniques recently pioneered at the university, researched in part by Vanessa Gaithers-burg (major - neuroscience), and leaving the ball carrier of David Damascus major - biomechanics wide open for a blitzing Nicolas Spikes who easily knocked down and out the star chamelon skink. It was then that luck suddenly turned when Spikes, a rat ogre known more for his blocking than his ball handling, was surprised to find himself holding the ball recently dropped by Damascus.
Harmony One-Love (major - underwater biodegradable container construction) had spent most of the game up to that point ignoring the coaching staff's repeated orders, cries, and pleas to get her to move, block or do anything at all. 
"I was just trying to enjoy the moment," Harmony was quoted after the game. "The heat felt so good on my scales, it just seemed like I should take advantage of some great weather." 
However, just as it looked like the game would turn against the Terrapins, the Krox decided it's time to get back into the game and show what all her training had produced. Weaving through falling bodies and terrified cries, the Krox displayed an uncanny grace moving to engage the rat ogre. It was what the coaching staff had been working with her on for weeks, and as she sized up the formidable opponent, it all became clear how to deliver the perfect block. The punch was heard around the stadium, and while the Louitch-vile rat ogre was quickly patched up by the sideline surgeons, the ball bounced to the Terripains and the rest of the game quickly fell their way as they racked up another 8 knockouts of the opposing team members.
After the match, Harmony was heard reciting a poem she had written specifically for this moment:
a terrible heat
coach yells, I try to focus hard
I learn to block well
Lets hope she has indeed learned to block well. ”