“Match started off well, Beastmen went down as expected, short pass to catcher in cage successful. Bit of a tussle after that as our cage was weakly set, but we managed to score eventually.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the pitch, One Horny Bugger gores a beastman to death to make it 9 vs 11, while Two Killing Fists busts another beastman's back up - 8 vs 11.

Second drive started with a Chaos pitch invasion, which fortunately didn't injure anyone, though Two Tripping Feet had to be given a high dose of smelling salts before he awoke. Some failed beastman blocks later, however, we were back in business and heading for touchdown.

We were lucky on the blocks, mostly, as the beastmen often went down on their own action, us Norse showing them what real men are made of. After a beastman ran himself a serious concussion on Two Killings Fists fists, the Chaos coach decided enough was enough, and all parted in friendship.

Except for those who were dead or moaning piteously on a stretcher somewhere, of course.”