“"Goooooooood evening sports fans. Chester here, with some bad news. Brad can't be here tonight, he slept with the Dark Angels Ogre's fave cheerleader, and is in hospital, so it's just me!" *muted applause from crew*

"News just in, the Believing Atheists are going to field the catcher, F. Nietzsche, who was suffering from a past injury."

*shuffle, bit of commotion*
"That might be very bad news if the Wolves have a good game Chester."

"Shit...They let you out Brad?"
"Erm, no, once the Ogre woke from the tranquiliser dart he found out which hospital I was in..it's safer here Chester."
"Aaaaannddd...they're off.....with yet another flyer..jesus, what's with elves?"
*game goes according to expectations, elves blitz & score*
*few more turns*
"Brad, that looks pretty sore...that Ogre musta *crunch from field*...Ouch.. F**k me, that 4ST Lino just took an almighty hit....first cas of the game.."
"Don't worry Chester, the coach will Apo him, no probs....."
"Now I know why I get paid more than you Brad. The Apo is already on the piss, he gave the 4ST catcher first aid just before the match, you retard."
"Ahh...ewwww..look at him get up, all wierd-like. He's going to the Necro bench?"
"Yes Brad, he was raised...but loses that lovely +ST...pity really."
*few more turns*
"Well Chestar, looks like the Elves are gonna cleansweep the necro tonight....just a little pass here..no hope for that lumbering Flesh Golem to intercept...F**k me! He grabbed it in mid-air!"
"Brad, will you never learn even Golems can occasionally make a roll?"
"Erm, probably not Chester."
"You know Brad, I believe you."
"Ahhh, cheers Chester."
*Chetser shakes his head, and with muffled voice*
"Simpleton."
*end of match*
"Chester, the upset of elves carries on, like the rushing water of a, erm, pond...no, wait a minute, err..lake?"
"Stream Brad...a f**king stream..gimp."
"Oh yeah, stream. Amyway...like the...oh, shit! C'ya."
*bangs & crashes from behind camera as Brad hobbles off quick-smart*
"Well sports fans, it seems even bonehead Ogres watch TV. With an entertaining defeat, the Wolves seem destined to stagnate, unless something happens real soon. This was Chester & Brad for the TGIF network, and from the looks of it at the moment, I'll be alone next week..that Ogre's just mean!"”