#8 The Criminologist – Dead (RIP) #9 Brad Majors – Dead (RIP)
“The lockerroom was abuzz with gossip before the match. Magenta and Columbia had scouted the Warriors' last game and returned with tales of all the tasty, pretty little men they had seen. Janet, who doesn't like men with too many muscles, was shivering with antici........pation and even Dr. Frank had to admit they looked yummy in their tight little uniforms.
That was the team and we were happy to see them. Who knew that their entire fan base was composed of Ogres (well, they aren't the Junior Chamber of Commerce at any rate....)? Certainly not us, but we quickly found out as the starting whistle for the first half was blown and the Warriors' stands emptied (ours were already empty but for an entirely different reason...), their fans taking to the pitch and stomping the deadites into the turf.
Frank was knocked out (and stayed that way until mid second half). Rocky Horror was stunned. Eddie, Brad Majors (Geek!) and The Criminologist were all killed outright; a few minutes in the deep freeze revived Eddie but Brad and The Criminologist weren't so lucky and took that final, strange trip together. Janet was devestated and expressed complete surprise at this turn of events. We, however, believe the lady doth protest too much; we all had our suspicions about Brad. The Criminologist, on the other hand, always seemed like such a stodgy old pillar of moral rectitude....
After that, believe it or not, the Elves scored rather quickly. The main highlight of this half for the RHBBT was the fact that the Warriors' kept kicking the ball out of bounds so Tricky Dick didn't have to spend several turns trying to pick it up. Well, that and Magenta started her reign of terror, slicing through Elven armor like warm butter and eventually sending three of the dodgy bastards into the casulty boxes; her first victim was Nirethlar Greyglade, sent to the BH box. Despite these bright points, a lot of Elfy dodging and a bad block by Eddie saw the Warriors of Woe strip the ball away from former President Nixon and dash into the endzone. The Elves had only finished their fourth turn and already they were up 2-0.
Again the Elves kick-off and again we have a touchback. Magenta scores another casulty, this time fracturing Gariel Pathmaker's arm and sending him to the SI box and then scored another, sending Esllar Silverbow to the BH box. Despite this blood-letting, the Warriors managed to strip the ball away from the deadites and toss it downfield. With Nixon stunned Columbia planned to try and snag the ball and pass it down field to Riff Raff for a TD but Rocky Horror managed to muff a block to free her up before she got the chance.
Nuffle had already started to make up to us for that initial pitch invasion, our opponent would start the second half two points up but three men down. Already I couldn't complain too loudly, the first half had been bad but it had its good points for us as well. In the second half, however, GameAvatar was about the experience a Nuffle reaming I'm sure he'll remember for a very long time....
We received on the first drive. There was no touchback but Nixon managed to pick the ball up anyhow. Their lack of manpower was stretching them thin but the Warriors managed to cover our defenders and Wardaner Malendil Spawnslayer managed to leap over our line to blitz the ball carrier. However, he used a re-roll to stay on his feet after the leap and so didn't have it available when he rolled a SKULL on the block. Nixon then got so close to Magenta that even he couldn't miss (well, not with the PASS re-roll anyhow...) and she ran in our first touchdown.
We set up again and the deadites caught the Warriors flat-footed with a blitz. The ball was kind of deep but with Columbia's help Magenta managed to knock down the nearest Elven player and put a tackle zone on it when it landed. With the rest of the team tying up the Elves on the line of scrimmage the already undermanned Elf team was unable to bring many players to bear on the ball and when Liannor Freespirit fell and fractured his skull (the Warriors' apoth was able to save him), Magenta grabbed the ball and ran it in for our second touchdown. In three turns (plus the blitz) we had tied the game.
We set up again and again the Elves were caught flat-footed. This time the ball was much closer to the line of scrimmage and Riff-Raff managed to get under it easily and catch it when it came down. The Elves managed to keep from getting tied down quite so much this time and even managed to strip the ball away, but when they went to pass it Riff Raff managed to intercept. We screened the werewolf but even so a dodgy elf managed to reach the ball carrier and knock him down (meanwhile, in the backfield, Columbia put Athroth Brightblade into the BH box while he waited for a teammate to recover the ball and toss it to him). Through simple attrition the Elves weren't able to put enough men on the ball and, after a short tussle, a path was cleared for Riff Raff and he was able to grab the ball and run it into the endzone for what would be the winning touchdown.
We set up again and again the Warriors' fans displayed their savage side, grabbing the referee and dragging him into the stands, never to be heard from again. The Warriors tried valiently to tie the game but sheer numbers allowed us to cover and eliminate the receivers in any position to score and the Elves were reduced to throwing a quick pass just to pick up some SPPs as time expired.
You'd think this would be enough but Nuffle had one final twist of the screw in store for the Warriors and they received no money for the match!
Inexplicably our fan factor plummeted once more. We gave our fans maimed Elves! We scored three touchdowns! We turned our luck around to come back after a demoralizing first half and win a miraculous (albeit heavily Nuffled) victory! What do they want from us? More folk dancing?!? Fortunately fan factor can't drop below 1 (it can't, can it?) as we fully expect to have nowhere to go but up by the end of the cross-over rounds. On the plus side, Tricky Dick now has Sure Hands so he'll only be blowing his skill re-roll rather than one of the team's when he drops the ball from now on....”
Click on the charts to toggle relative statistics.
That was the team and we were happy to see them. Who knew that their entire fan base was composed of Ogres (well, they aren't the Junior Chamber of Commerce at any rate....)? Certainly not us, but we quickly found out as the starting whistle for the first half was blown and the Warriors' stands emptied (ours were already empty but for an entirely different reason...), their fans taking to the pitch and stomping the deadites into the turf.
Frank was knocked out (and stayed that way until mid second half). Rocky Horror was stunned. Eddie, Brad Majors (Geek!) and The Criminologist were all killed outright; a few minutes in the deep freeze revived Eddie but Brad and The Criminologist weren't so lucky and took that final, strange trip together. Janet was devestated and expressed complete surprise at this turn of events. We, however, believe the lady doth protest too much; we all had our suspicions about Brad. The Criminologist, on the other hand, always seemed like such a stodgy old pillar of moral rectitude....
After that, believe it or not, the Elves scored rather quickly. The main highlight of this half for the RHBBT was the fact that the Warriors' kept kicking the ball out of bounds so Tricky Dick didn't have to spend several turns trying to pick it up. Well, that and Magenta started her reign of terror, slicing through Elven armor like warm butter and eventually sending three of the dodgy bastards into the casulty boxes; her first victim was Nirethlar Greyglade, sent to the BH box. Despite these bright points, a lot of Elfy dodging and a bad block by Eddie saw the Warriors of Woe strip the ball away from former President Nixon and dash into the endzone. The Elves had only finished their fourth turn and already they were up 2-0.
Again the Elves kick-off and again we have a touchback. Magenta scores another casulty, this time fracturing Gariel Pathmaker's arm and sending him to the SI box and then scored another, sending Esllar Silverbow to the BH box. Despite this blood-letting, the Warriors managed to strip the ball away from the deadites and toss it downfield. With Nixon stunned Columbia planned to try and snag the ball and pass it down field to Riff Raff for a TD but Rocky Horror managed to muff a block to free her up before she got the chance.
Nuffle had already started to make up to us for that initial pitch invasion, our opponent would start the second half two points up but three men down. Already I couldn't complain too loudly, the first half had been bad but it had its good points for us as well. In the second half, however, GameAvatar was about the experience a Nuffle reaming I'm sure he'll remember for a very long time....
We received on the first drive. There was no touchback but Nixon managed to pick the ball up anyhow. Their lack of manpower was stretching them thin but the Warriors managed to cover our defenders and Wardaner Malendil Spawnslayer managed to leap over our line to blitz the ball carrier. However, he used a re-roll to stay on his feet after the leap and so didn't have it available when he rolled a SKULL on the block. Nixon then got so close to Magenta that even he couldn't miss (well, not with the PASS re-roll anyhow...) and she ran in our first touchdown.
We set up again and the deadites caught the Warriors flat-footed with a blitz. The ball was kind of deep but with Columbia's help Magenta managed to knock down the nearest Elven player and put a tackle zone on it when it landed. With the rest of the team tying up the Elves on the line of scrimmage the already undermanned Elf team was unable to bring many players to bear on the ball and when Liannor Freespirit fell and fractured his skull (the Warriors' apoth was able to save him), Magenta grabbed the ball and ran it in for our second touchdown. In three turns (plus the blitz) we had tied the game.
We set up again and again the Elves were caught flat-footed. This time the ball was much closer to the line of scrimmage and Riff-Raff managed to get under it easily and catch it when it came down. The Elves managed to keep from getting tied down quite so much this time and even managed to strip the ball away, but when they went to pass it Riff Raff managed to intercept. We screened the werewolf but even so a dodgy elf managed to reach the ball carrier and knock him down (meanwhile, in the backfield, Columbia put Athroth Brightblade into the BH box while he waited for a teammate to recover the ball and toss it to him). Through simple attrition the Elves weren't able to put enough men on the ball and, after a short tussle, a path was cleared for Riff Raff and he was able to grab the ball and run it into the endzone for what would be the winning touchdown.
We set up again and again the Warriors' fans displayed their savage side, grabbing the referee and dragging him into the stands, never to be heard from again. The Warriors tried valiently to tie the game but sheer numbers allowed us to cover and eliminate the receivers in any position to score and the Elves were reduced to throwing a quick pass just to pick up some SPPs as time expired.
You'd think this would be enough but Nuffle had one final twist of the screw in store for the Warriors and they received no money for the match!
Inexplicably our fan factor plummeted once more. We gave our fans maimed Elves! We scored three touchdowns! We turned our luck around to come back after a demoralizing first half and win a miraculous (albeit heavily Nuffled) victory! What do they want from us? More folk dancing?!? Fortunately fan factor can't drop below 1 (it can't, can it?) as we fully expect to have nowhere to go but up by the end of the cross-over rounds. On the plus side, Tricky Dick now has Sure Hands so he'll only be blowing his skill re-roll rather than one of the team's when he drops the ball from now on....”