“"Gooooood evening sports fans, Chester & Brad here live from the ancient home of the Trees, the Sanctuary Stadium. It's been the home for the woodies for centuries, and befits such a well-known and respected team. It really does inspire you as you walk through the vaulted arch onto the pitch."
"I did the vault at school once...but I landed on my head..."
"Unsurprising information there Brad, you have a track record of that."
"I had a track record too...1,500m sack race...took me two days, but I had to win...nobody else would enter..."
"No-one else would be that dumb Brad...1,500m, jesus you are such a retard... Well, here they go, and by crikey, there's a turn up for the books..no blitz, and the dodgy elves get under way with a very quick score. Setting up again.....Hey, numb-nuts, here's $5..you know the rest."
"Sure Chester..."
"Wow, look at that pumped up Blitzer...with amazing grace and brute strength, he puts down the ball carrier, the puppy is getting carried away, and here they go again, 0-2 by T4...just as expected..Ahh, cheers Brad...hey, you even remembered the onions!"
"Yeah, they didn't have any oranges....."

***4 turns, Wolves score 2nd drive 1-2..and put the st4/ag5 blitzer out***

"2nd half Chester, they gonna dance about like faeries again?"
"No, they'll leap about like woodies Brad. Hey, they look like they could score from here.."
"That's mega, they are near the ball and might get it in the end zone!"
"Yeah, that's called scoring Brad, so zip it. Well, there he goes, Touchdown! 2-2, and with a reducing woodie crew, the game is swinging a little."
"My wife got me into swinging. I like swinging. Not as much as oranges though."
"Peachy Brad, just peachy."
"No, oranges, not peac..***BISH**BASH**BOSH**POW**OOMPH**
"Brad's off to get that seen to, so just me for a while sports fans!"
***very muted cheers from the crew in the background***
"It's fast and furious here fans, the woodie Apo is gone, the save he could have made went the way of the Dodo..and that can only hurt...Well, I take that back. THAT fella didn't know what hit him, and he never will, poor sod. RIP fella..."
***woodies score, more cas***
"Well, with this...hold on, yeah, touchdown! With that score, the next-to-impossible has happened, the Wolves are level....and with the furtive glances, something's afoot, i'm sure. #### me, a blitz! Surely not, the woodies are down to a handful, and..oops, that didn't work. the hand-off...yes! The Wight trots over the line in the clear! 4-3...Incredible."
"They shoulda stalled Chester..."
"Well, you might say that Brad, but the team coach thinks a fair shot at a draw is fair recompense for the awful trail of blood and snot leading to the Tree's locker room. With 2 RIP's & 2 SI, the woodies are in need of a bit of help, no need to kick 'em when they are down Brad."
"Err...best time to kick 'em innit? Back of da head...once ya got yer spiked boots on?"
"We're not all DP's like you were Brad. Wow, that's some decent blocking there...GFI's don't fail, yes, the woodies have secured the score, so that's the game at 4-4. Highest scoring game for the Wolves at a total of 8 TD's, and joint top on injuries at 6..it's been fascinating viewing, and remarkable considering one puppy went to the recovery room, and one puppy stayed at home...Well, i'm sure with more games like this the fans will flock back, and that will mean my bonus will get much bigger than 50k this season."
"Hey, mine's only 5k......"
"That's right Brad. Think yourself lucky. Well, that's it sports fans, see you next time. This has been Chester & Brad for the TGIF network."

***lights go out, screen goes dark.***

"I bin eating carrots for seeing when lights go out. I like carrots, but not as much as oran....I'll shut up now, no need to hit me again Chest..."
***BISH***BASH***BOSH***
"Always a need Brad, always a need...."”