“"Good afternoon sports fans, Chester & Brad here live for this early kick-off between the mean, green Pimp Smakkas and the short-arsed Ankle Biters. I think the fact it's a bank holiday decided the early kick-off, and that has played into the orc's hands, as the lack of training this morning has ensured that all the Pimp's are on the field..not a single niggle is bothering them."
"I got a niggler Chester, my missus said so."
"I think you'll find your wife said 'tiddler' Brad...here they go, typical Orc drive, using massive strength to just beat a way to the endzone."
"Getting messy in da middle Chester, lot's of fighting...good job those ikkle dwarves have guard, or it'd be a massacre."
"Well, they are putting up a good fight, couple of 4ST players KO's..and wow! They have stolen the ball...you'd never put money on that happening...and it looks like they'll score...what an upset."
"That's what my missus said last night...2 minutes after we went to bed."
"You don't surprise me Brad...2 minutes AND a tiddler...i'm shocked she married you in the first place. There again, she is Really Stupid..female Ogres do nothing for me."
"I like a woman with a bit of meat on 'em. And oranges."
****the following is edited for those of a sensitive nature****
"Chester..."
"Finally, you said my name, bitch. Now, that needn't have taken 3 baseball bats, 2 chairs and that cameraman...you know, you're gonna get charged for his wages...if only you'd said my name earlier you....wow, the second half started already...well, the Pimps can't seem to pick that ball up, and the Biters are getting close to it."
"They'll never geddit Chester, too late for 'em, the Pimps will score."
"Well, with fumbles like that they won't. Well I never, they cleared the ball, the runner comes up..sheesh, he made that look easy...he's double GFI'ing? He'll NEVER mak..bloody hell, he did. He's lining up a pass? #### me, the pass is completed...that Blitzer could score on the last turn. What a stroke of luck, 5 rolls made...at 3+ you'd think that was average, but for these guys it's a miracle."
"Duh, what's that 4st orc doing blocking that dorf? he coulda blitzed the ball-carrier...oh, ohhh...i geddit."
"Yeah, the Pimp's take thier 1st boot, a T15 foul for no benefit Brad..even lamer than your bedroom exploits it seems."
"Huh?"
"Never mind Brad..the Biters have tactically fouled a few times this match, but this petty booting mars a good game. The coach is even stood on the bench with a placard saying 'You did it first, I owed you one, ner ner'..well, that explains a lot. Are you two related Brad?"
"Well, I don't think so, but Momma never told me who Dadda was...all she said was he sold oranges..."
"Figures...anyway, with that opportunity to get the ball gone, the Biters score a second for 2-0. That seals the game, and the fans liked the sight of 4ST Orcs being too afraid to come back on to the pitch from the KO box...mores fans are always welcome. This has been Chester & Brad coming live this afternoon from the Smakkas Stadium for the TGIF network. See you next time sports fans."

***lights go out, screen goes dark***

"So, your Dad sold oranges huh? Do they help you see in the dark?"
"Don't fink so Chester..."
***SMACK***
"Nnngghh"
"Apparently not."”