“"Gooooood eeeeeevening sports fans, Chester and Brad here for the next slapping the HV's are gonna take. I for one am not looking forward to this, though they seem to have scraped a few wins, they really are the epitome of a soft team, falling over with the frequency of cas in a Deathgerbil game."
"Hey, I didn't know gerbils could be dangerous?"
"Shut up Brad. Looks even as they line up, which means the HV's will probably only lose badly, and suffer 20TR drop....and they're...OFF!"
"Heh....I thought I could smell them...hehe..."
"For *bleep*'s sake, shut the *bleep* up. The Kings make good progress, moving the..OH MY GOD! That's gotta hurt! See that *bleep*ing Apo run, he's not moved that fast since the Medical Association arrived one day to investigate his qualifications...Wow, despite the phoney Ph.D from the Institute of Medical Propaganda, he's saved that Lino from an early grave."

"Well, with no Apo, and KO's, the fact that the HV's are gonna score is a miracle...But there they go, and they look pretty annoyed that if they bite the dust, there ain't no coming back.."
"Ain't no sunshine, when ya gone...ain't......hey, wait a sec Chester..."
"I warned you Brad...."
--------CRUNCH-----------
""Well, that bat to Brad's head matched that BH on the pitch, it seems the HV's DO actually know how to stick a shoulder into the opposition...but enjoy it while they clear up the blood and goo, it'll surely be the only one they get this game."
"I like blood, it's a lovely colour, red. I like red. It's not as nice as orange though, orange is like Oranges.....I love Oranges me."
"*bleep* me, I thoughtwe could last 2 games into the new season before you mentioned Oranages."
"Well, I love Oranges, I do..."
"For the love of God......Will you......hang on Brad, you see him take a runup? Bosh, there goes another! The HV's have another BH! Man, they really don't like taking a kicking tonight, they're fighting back! Astonishing! BASH! And another! *BLEEP* ME! What the hell is going on?"
"Well, in Hell, it's probably hot, very hot...No Orca-Cola, and I bet a pint'o'wife beater is outta the question...wouldn't you say Chester? Erm, Chester? Where's Chester gone?"
--------Sound crew shrug----------
"Well, just you and me, erm...fans....erm....Anyone fancy a hotdog? Ok....well...ooooohh, there's a nasty one, the Kings Apo is off the bench...the goo on the pitch is slippy...heh, that cheerleader just fell on her....oh, hi Chester...err...what you doing with that shotgun Chester?"
--------BLAM--------BLAM----------(reload sounds)------BLAM-------BLAM-------
"Well sports fans, just you and me again at last....The second half started? Wow, the HV's certainly have thinned the ranks of the Kings, what a freaky display. To be honest, that's pure luck, but at least as far as the Kings' coach is concerened they're only BH's...no damage. The Kings are putting up a mighty defence for so few elves...the HV coach looks certain to take victory, even though the fans would like more action...It's faction Boys & Girls, and after the news today that the TGIF network's other sponsored team, Biker's Inc, have failed to qualify for Faction 1 by a measly 1 point, the HV coach is surely right in securing the win. And there the whistle blows! The HV's take the honours, and....oh *bleep*...the stewards made a comment to Makalov, who is really pissed off...OMFG...ewwwwww....that's just nasty.....He's taking out dozens...that's one mean pointy-eared right now, i'm sure iI can see his team shirt ripping apart from here..."
---------20 minutes later----------
"Well, looks like that 6th tranquiliser dart finally got to Makalov, and he sleeps...off to the cells i'm sure, but he'll be back in training tomorrow, there's surely someone out there who loved his 3 cas and strength display post-game so much they'll post his bond. That's it for now folks, an amazing turn of fortune for the HV's i'm sure you'll agree, and long may it continue. The Kings did nothing wrong at all, but with the ferocity invoked with the near-death of their colleague early on, the HV's made this a game the King's couldn't win with only half a dozen players. We're all just glad there was a lot of blood, but no permanent damage. This has been Chester, and Brad, signing off for the TGIF network."”