“<b>Internal Report:</b> Spike! Radio has been looking for new match reporters. We chose to give some of the candidates a test run letting them do on pitch commentary. We asigned them to follow around the low-skill Happy Tree Friends. For your consideration, here are some of the transcripts.
<b>Name:</b> Manni Moore
<b>Race:</b> Minotaur
<i><b>Note:</b> Throughout the tape heavy breathing audible - not all of it transcribed here.</i>
"Good Mooo-ning or Aftermooo-n for mooo-st of us already. <snort> Name is Manni Mooo-e', reporting for Spike! Radio. Match today between the Watchmen, Orcs, and The Happy Tree Friends, undead.
Match attracted colourful crowd off races. Teams are mooo-ving in; <snort> let the game begin. Orcs receiving and quickly mooo-wing down undeads frontline, some lineman running forward on the sidelines. <longer pause some moving around> WAIT A SECOND, YOU!. Will pick up dill flavored chips from that peddler. <there is some unrest, somebody screaming highpitched>
<following passage with longer pauses in between throughout - only indicated in first sentence though, voice sounds somewhat concentrated> The ... Watchmen ... have ... scored. Tree Friends are attacking now, Zombie injured black orc <70s style disco music audible in the background>, it dances. Black Orc punches skeleton broken to pieces. <loud *bang* and a lot of movements> STUPID <snort> PLASTIC BAG JUST BROKE - <snort> HOW IS ONE SUPPOSED TO OPEN THOSE CHIP BAGS ANYWAY? ALL <snort> ALL MY CHIPS ALL OVER PLACE <snort> <longer pause *crunching* sounds audible, faintly>
<throughout the passage pauses between words, chewing audible> Match progressed far into first half, undead offence stuck. Ghoul tries run with ball but knocked over on dodge. Ref whistles - Orcs lead, but two orcs knocked out. Will get more chips during break, back soon.
I <snort> convinced <snort> referee to allow some on pitch interviews, am on way down now. First interview with Mooo-lcoh. Moo-lcoh what do you think about match?
<i>Dis match izgoin good - wee made douzdown an'held szem undead back. Godda red d-shirt from da' undead coach. Wanna zee?</i> <there is a longer pause> <i>Whadda ya looking add?</i>
<hooves drumming on ground audible, several deep *thuds*, a lot unrest, referee blow whistle>
<throughout the following passage a lot of movements, voice varies in volume, sometimes hardly understandable at all, longer pauses in between> I ... STILL ... ON ... PITCH. <not understandable> TRYING TO FORCE ME BACK <not understandable> RED <snort> <not understandable> 6 ORCS OUT. UNDEAD ADVANCING <somebody screams in pain closeby> REFEREE K.O. RED <snort> <not understandable> CLOSEBY <cheering audible> UNDEAD SCORED TOUCH <snort> DOWN. ORCS STILL 3 MAN DOWN <longer tumult, somebody is wrestling with one ore several people> UNDEAD ALMOOO-ST ABOUT TO SCORE AGAIN <snort>
<here the report ends rather abrupt. We had to pay a small fee to get Mr. Moore released from custody for knocking down and distracting the referee several times during the second half. Mr. Moore agreed to repay that fee to us as soon as possible> ”
The game between the Happy Tree Friends and the Watchmen was a interesting one, since its outcome would effect the ability for all the teams in the group to advance to the quaterfinals. The watchmen started out with their trademark throw and catch aproach (who was that calling them elves, dear say that at a Watchmen game and see what happens!) and scored a quick touchdown. The Happy Tree Friends the proceeded to slowly walk up the pitch smashing anything in their way while doing so. The watchmen fought with good spirit and halted the advance prior to the endzone. So ended the first half.
The Happy Tree Friends fans were upset over their teams inability to score and decided to do something about it. Storming the pitch and stunning two Watchmen and sending another to the already crowded dougout. This meant that the Happy Tree Friends could score, kicking on a the few prone watchmen players still on the pitch while doing so. What the ref was looking at is another story.
1-1 and the Watchmens, led by a stupid coach didn't settle for a draw and a almost certain place in the quaters, no, they wanted to show the Happy Tree Friends just how this game was played. Rorschach, not a man of temper and cunning rushed with the ball across the field, but when Dollar Bill failed a simple block things got ugly, and the Happy Tree Friends could easily score another touchdown, thereby making the chances for the Watchmen to reach the quaters almost none. ”
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<b>Name:</b> Manni Moore
<b>Race:</b> Minotaur
<i><b>Note:</b> Throughout the tape heavy breathing audible - not all of it transcribed here.</i>
"Good Mooo-ning or Aftermooo-n for mooo-st of us already. <snort> Name is Manni Mooo-e', reporting for Spike! Radio. Match today between the Watchmen, Orcs, and The Happy Tree Friends, undead.
Match attracted colourful crowd off races. Teams are mooo-ving in; <snort> let the game begin. Orcs receiving and quickly mooo-wing down undeads frontline, some lineman running forward on the sidelines. <longer pause some moving around> WAIT A SECOND, YOU!. Will pick up dill flavored chips from that peddler. <there is some unrest, somebody screaming highpitched>
<following passage with longer pauses in between throughout - only indicated in first sentence though, voice sounds somewhat concentrated> The ... Watchmen ... have ... scored. Tree Friends are attacking now, Zombie injured black orc <70s style disco music audible in the background>, it dances. Black Orc punches skeleton broken to pieces. <loud *bang* and a lot of movements> STUPID <snort> PLASTIC BAG JUST BROKE - <snort> HOW IS ONE SUPPOSED TO OPEN THOSE CHIP BAGS ANYWAY? ALL <snort> ALL MY CHIPS ALL OVER PLACE <snort> <longer pause *crunching* sounds audible, faintly>
<throughout the passage pauses between words, chewing audible> Match progressed far into first half, undead offence stuck. Ghoul tries run with ball but knocked over on dodge. Ref whistles - Orcs lead, but two orcs knocked out. Will get more chips during break, back soon.
I <snort> convinced <snort> referee to allow some on pitch interviews, am on way down now. First interview with Mooo-lcoh. Moo-lcoh what do you think about match?
<i>Dis match izgoin good - wee made douzdown an'held szem undead back. Godda red d-shirt from da' undead coach. Wanna zee?</i> <there is a longer pause> <i>Whadda ya looking add?</i>
<hooves drumming on ground audible, several deep *thuds*, a lot unrest, referee blow whistle>
<throughout the following passage a lot of movements, voice varies in volume, sometimes hardly understandable at all, longer pauses in between> I ... STILL ... ON ... PITCH. <not understandable> TRYING TO FORCE ME BACK <not understandable> RED <snort> <not understandable> 6 ORCS OUT. UNDEAD ADVANCING <somebody screams in pain closeby> REFEREE K.O. RED <snort> <not understandable> CLOSEBY <cheering audible> UNDEAD SCORED TOUCH <snort> DOWN. ORCS STILL 3 MAN DOWN <longer tumult, somebody is wrestling with one ore several people> UNDEAD ALMOOO-ST ABOUT TO SCORE AGAIN <snort>
<here the report ends rather abrupt. We had to pay a small fee to get Mr. Moore released from custody for knocking down and distracting the referee several times during the second half. Mr. Moore agreed to repay that fee to us as soon as possible>
”