“The GSL season was off to a promising start when Grumsh the troll knocked out the mummy Karach in the opening seconds; this was followed by Gnarl stepping up to the Curve's remaining mummy, Jurol, and felling him single handed!
The momentum faltered at the end of the first quarter when Grumsh got carried away and fell over while blocking a zombie. The ensuing confusion allowed Loomi to break clear of the scrum on the half way line and dash over the line.
The kick scattered deep into Da Ladz' backfield, preventing the team's airborne division from equalising at the end of the half.
The second half continued the depressing decline of the goblins' fortunes. Despite Splintz tossing Kikkim into the undead backfield, the goblin failed to snatch the ball from under the nose of the ghoul receiver and the undead proceeded to march smartly up the pitch, scoring again at the end of the third quarter.
Jurol shifted up a gear after the kick, almost killing Gnarl for his earlier presumption. Grumsh attempted to match his team-mate's efforts by lobbing a goblin downfield, this time with the ball. However, the troll's duty neuron got side tracked and he decided to break for a snack. The gobbo squirmed free but coughed up the ball to the wight, Shlack, who made a dash for the end zone. One or two goblins chased him, but found they had somehow tied their bootlaces together and bit the turf.
All in all, neither a promising beginning for the team nor for the future career of Coach Wakiznadz. The flair and panache that we are accustomed to seeing from the teams of Libram Towers vanished after the first quarter to be replaced by typical goblin behaviour. Hopefully the rest of the season will see an improvement...”