“Welcome, sports-worshippers, to this fine day in our stadium on the ice beneath the Cori Celesti! I am the Quite Reverend Convert-the-Unbeliever-With-Cunningly-Worded-Metaphors of the Church of Om, the greatest church on the Disc, and today I shall be your commentator. We will undoubtedly be priviledged to witness how Om and his compatriots smash these infidels and grind them righteously into dust!

The stadium is filled almost to capacity today, with more than seventy-thousand worshippers coming to mass. The preachers - sorry, players - have taken the field, and play is about to commence. Ah! I have just received a message which says that preacher Siad Barre is scared of the incredible power of Om and has chosen not to play today! Hah!

Play has just commenced, with the Lady kicking the ball up the pitch. The ELF worshippers are pryaing mightily and spurring their team to greater heights. OH! HAH! It is in vain! Bel-Shamharoth, Devourer of Souls, has just slammed one of the dictators to the ground and caused an injury! Look at him attemtping to eat his soul, he approaches almost the power of Om - though none can do that, of course. Now he is off running again, and, oh my, yet another Dictator is forced to leave the pitch by bel-Shamharoth's vicious assault. And it looks like that Dictator was holding the sacred relicv that is the ball. Om be praised!

The sacred relic is picked up by Quetzovercoatl and dumped in the hands of Seven-Handed Sek, whose hands make him an deal relic-carrier. They move up the field, where Sek hands the ball back to the demon Quetzovercoatl. Om's power appears to be making the team do great things, as the Great and Only God looks on from beside Monolith, nodding benevolently.

It appears that Quetzovercoatl has set the ball on the ground... The Lady now picks it up, and yes, she walks it into Om's sacred church! The relic is safe! Let us bow down in solemn prayer until play recommences.

***

Welcome back, noble worshippers! Witness how these heretics attempt once more to run off with our sacred relic. They appear to be thrwing it around with deft skill. Yes, undoubtedly they are cheating, and using magic. Oh my! Thnat is one long pass! It has been caught! The heretic has it! He will make it off to the hells with our relic! Disaster! BUT NO! Om, in his power and glory has tackled the infidel! Slammed him to the turf! Rejoice, for we proceed into the second half with a lead of one conversion to zero.

***

This second half will see the Great Om attempt to once more bring the relic into his Holy Church. The relic flies into the field, and it is caught by Herne the Hunted. They proceed up te field, smiting infidels left and right as they go. But what is this? One of the infidels has magicked himself through the ranks of godhood and hit Herne in a most disgusting manner, making him drop the ball! He is now being made to pay for this mistake by Alohura and the Hogfather! Joyous day! The Lady now picks up the ball and runs upfield. Victory seems certain!

The way is being made clear for the Lady, and she is as good as in the Chruch! And it looks like something has happened... One of the infidels has died! HAH! And good riddqance to him! I mean... What a pity, he could have been converted to Om yet...

What is this? The Lady has fallen! Tripped! Ah, but she is a fickle mistress even to herself, and she is even now being carried off the field. One of the heretics is now next to the ball, but so are Bel-Shamharoth and Offler.

Wait! Something is happening on the other side of the field! Monolith has apparently tried to eat one of the heretics in righteous retribution, but he is now chocking! His team mates surround him and try to help him. Monolith has spat out the infidel, who looks like he is out cold, and is now coughing violently. Soneone must tell Monolith that silicaceous life-forms should eat rock only,and not attempt to devour organic substances.

*gasp* The filthy infidel HAS THE BALL! he has used the distraction of Bel-Shamharoth and Offler upon Monolith's distress to grab it and run away! This is horrible! Bel-Shamharoth is livid and pursues with great speed... he has caught up! The infidel is smitten mightily! He must needs leave the field, clasping his arm! Mighty is the Devourer of Souls!

Praise be! Om now approaches, and he picks up the relic! For his own greater glory, for the victory of his team, he now carries the sacred relic into his Church! Praise be! Sing all ye faithful for your God has conquered.

*commences to sing*

-----------------------

Lots of cas. I dominated pretty much all of the match, though tore almost scored when some of my rolls went bad. Pity he missed his last 2+ dodge. ;) Still, he almost ran off with it again when my troll triple skulled. I think Monolith rolled on average two skulls on every block he rolled, if not more...

Only bad side of the game is that Bel-Shamharoth aged on his first skill, which he gained in this match. =(”