“We now bring you an excerpt from:

The Ankh-Morpork Times
{{{ The Truth Shall Make Ye Free! }}}

Gods Accused of Cheating!
- Tripwire helps It Came From Dunmanifestin TBB Final -

In a rather strange match yesterday evening, It Came From Dunmanifestin beat Hoyden Weatherwax's team of elite women by one touch-down to nil. The winning goal was scored by the Lady, but it wasn't the TDs made that made this match so strange. Rather, that was done by all the touch-downs that <i>weren't</i> scored.

Up to three times one of Weatherwax's women attempted to run into the ICFD end-zone, and each time she tripped in some mysterious way. cries went out from the audience that there was trip-wire there, or that a magical spell had been placed on the area. Mistress Weatherwax was incensed, and lodged a complaint after the match.

"My girls swear that there was trip-wire in front of the end-zone!" she exclusively told the Times. "And I trust what they tell me." At this point she stared at me and said "That's Mistress" and I couldn't remember what I was going to ask, so I left.

I'd heard the Ankh-Morpork City Watch was investigating the matter, thus I proceded to Pseudopolis Yard. "We found no trace on the premises of any tripwire," His Grace Vimes, Commander of the Watch, informed us. "Of course we are entertaining the possibility that they took it down before we arrived for inspection. We are currently interviewing several witnesses." The kind Duke would not, however, give us any details about this witnesses, so naturally we located Corporal Nobby St. J de Nobbs, who, for only a small bribe, told us more.

"Well, it was Washpot's friend you see," he said, upon which a fellow officer interrupted him. "Sorry, I mean Constable Visit's friend. All right! Constable Visit-the-Infidel-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets. Happy now? Anyway, I think his name is Smite-the-Unbeliever-with-Cunning-Arguments. Someone saw him leave the Hippo - that's the name of the stadium - with a large coil of very thin wire. Captain Carrot apprehended him."

Corporal Nobbs, however, did not appear to know more than that. Captain Carrot assured us that the affair would be swiftly handled, and that all further enquiries were being conducted by Sergeant Dorfl - who is a golem, and thus proof to the bolts of lightning the gods are liable to strike him down with should he find incriminating evdience. "We don't want any of our officers ending up as a smoking pair of boots," Captain Carrot explained.

The Ankh-Morpork Times will keep up with this investigation. We hope that these events will be cleared up very soon.

- Sports Correspondent Rocky”