“What a premiere ladies and gentlemen! Mister Arnold Schwarzenegger entered the Bloodbowl Arena for the first eleven times, yes you heard right, the first ELEVEN times. Somehow the gods of chaos brought along elven incarnations of Mister Schwarzenegger, to compete in this great event, the Themed Bloodbowl.

Today we will bring the report of the first of their qualification matches for the 2nd season of this awesome tournament. Their oponents call themselves "Words of Wisdom", so you may ask what "wisdom" a bunch of dwarves could have gathered, so do I, ladies and gentlemen. Well, but that's not what you and I are interessted in, is it? So let's see what this match was like.

The Egos had a great start even the dwarves won the coin toss and took the first offense, the didn't manage to break the LoS completely and so the Egos stroke back knocking two of the dwarves out and advanced towards the ball carrier. Both teams clashed into another in the middle of the field to enter melee combat. The dwarves didn't give up and sended the indestructable T800 and the Last Action Hero Jack Slater into the dugout to even the KO score. In response Major Dutch tackled Al Bundy, an all time loser and shoe salesman, who couldn't take this attack, so he had to take place in the dugout as well to stay there for the rest of the match. "What a whiny boy" comented Major Dutch as the medic helped Al to leave the field before he grabbed the ball and headed towards the WoW's endzone. But his trip lasted only a short time when one of the dwarven slayers took him down. Now the dwarves restructered their offense and prepeared to break through the chaos defense. The chaos players tried to stop the dwarf rush but they got knocked down as they tried to block the linos shielding the ball carrying runner. Some more failed blocks gave the runner the possibility to sprint in the direction of the endzone. He was almost there and could have scored if not Dr. Alex Hesse were abel to escape his two guardians and knock this runner off his feet. The fans screamed in joy, what a match! The dwarves desperately tried to reclaim the ball in time so they could score at last. And although John Wayne got his hands on the ball, the chaos team managed to keep them away from the touchdown line until the end of the half.

At the start of the second half the dwarves had only 9 players to field against 10 Arnies, so they realized they had to play more offensive. The chaos team recieved and was confident of pressing home their advantage, but once again some failed blocks stopped their offense and the dwarves advanced towards John Kruger, the ball carrier. To late the blockers on the LoS realized the danger and so three dwarves surrounded the ball and knocked his carrier down. Once again Dr. Alex Hesse tried to save the day and together with Douglas Quaid he headed to the backfield to help John. The rest tried to stop the other dwarves, but one after one they got KO. After six turns of the second half seven Egos lay in the KO-box and so the dwarves where able to score in turn seven.

The Egos showed some potential, but the failed to take their chances. But I think we can still count on them. And so i'm looking forward to their next match.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.”