“The Klownz first victory was a bittersweet one, marred by the death of that beloved Klown, Krusty, he of the enlarged feet and liver, who distinguished himself by producing his own line of pork and near-pork products and, in his four game career, by successfully failing to earn a single star player point. Fans will note that this is the second death suffered by the Klownz, Blinko having fallen to a savage barrage of cheaply made Scandanavian furniture during the team's bout with the Ikea Allstars.

Funeral services were held immediately after the game, the fallen hero honored with a twenty-one seltzer bottle salute after which he was placed in a giant cannon with his favorite pair of chattering teeth and fired deep into the mountains from whence he came.

Rumor has it that, due to the teams depleted coffers, Uncle Callum MacRobert the Mercenary Clown, veteran of fifteen creme pie wars and master of the joy buzzer, has been freebooted to fill out the Klownz roster for their final qualifying game against the Stargazers.”