“The Pitter Patter rats lost the coin toss. The kickoff sailed out of bounds. They were completely ineffective defensively against the Jamiroquai elves, allowing them to score in two turns. Then the rats' coach, Shorty, had a brief discussion with the referee. Meanwhile, Snatch Strongarm ineptly fumbled the pickup when rushing to pick up the ball after the ensuing kickoff. Heading back towards the bench, there was a strange look of satisfaction on Shorty's face, while the referee seemed to regard the game with some resignation and indiference that had not been not been previously apparent. It would seem some mischief was apaw.

Snatch finally managed to pick up the ball and rush toward the line, past the eagerly advancing elves. Skad Skittfeet had managed to find himself a nice quiet spot surrounded on every side by his teammates and very near to his Rat Ogre friend, Spike Snaptail. Skad easily collected the pigskin but seemed content to wait in the eye of the dusty storm.

The rats played for position, expertly marking the avenues of approach for the defense. Key blocks were thrown and a few rats were brave enough to throw themselves in the path of two or even three elves. It was then that Claw Fleshrender, the rats' Stormvermin, knocked Space Cowboy, one of the elven blitzers on his face. The rats quickly swarmed the prey, kicking and biting and gnashing. When all was said and done, the rats had the ball, excellent position, and Space Cowboy had a new crack in his skull. The elven coach, Kenty, turned to the referee, who promptly turned the other cheek. Then Kenty turned to his apothecary but to no avail. The blitzing duties would now fall entirely upon the shoulders of Canned Heat, other half of the duo, who was still flat on his back from his brief charge into Harry Heavyset . Linelf Butterfly's attempt to pick up the torch quickly landed him in a heap beside Canned Heat, also from the steadfast Harry who would seem immovable at this time. Fang Bloodletter, Stormvermin, sprung into action, blitzing Falling to badly hurting, and springing his teammates free to action. Wasting no time, the rats swarmed Canned Heat, pummeled him like his counterpart, and sending him off with a mild concussion. Coach Kenty had seen enough. He threw in every towl on the bench and stormed his way clear of the mob and the madness. The match had been conceeded, the players crippled, and the coach dejected. As a final note, it is with much sadness and regret that I must report the elven team was retired within moments of the fateful match. The rats, however, took home the loot and appear to be off to a great start.

When asked about the match, Coach Shorty commented, "They played as a team. When all else failed, they found something that worked. I'm as surprised as you are."

Players of note:

Claw Fleshrender, who put Space Cowboy down initially.

Fang Bloodletter, MVP, who felled falling and led the charge on Canned Heat that ended the game.

Snatch Strongarm, whose clumsy hands did not prevent him from throwing a very solid pass when it mattered. Perhaps it was a ruse.

Skad Skittfeet, MVP, who held the ball when it mattered.

Spike Snaptail, who played solidly despite his wild nature.”