“Chaos pulls off an outstanding win today over the evil Chaos Dwarves. Down a Chaos Warrior for the match, the Chaos coach visits the VIP locker room where Nobbla Blackwart, the infamous Chainsaw Massacre goblin was being entertained by the local groupies. Excited by the prospect of carving up some Chaos Dwarves, Nobbla offered his services at the bargain rate of 40K, which the Chaos coach wisely accepted.

After 2 false starts, Nobbla cranks up the chainsaw on the 4th turn of the match, and immediately proceeds to charge the nearest Chaos Dwarf and Niggle him. Luckily, the Chaos Dwarf apothecary was nearby with emergency tourniquets and was able to stop the bleeding. Dismayed by Nobbla's demonstrated ability at bloodshed, and a little pissed that the ref didn't notice the 3-foot steel chainsaw stuffed down his pants, he immediately orders one of his Bull Centaurs to take Nobbla out. Throwing himself heroically, or foolishly depending on your point of view, at the running chainsaw, both the bull centaur and Nobbla fall to the ground, where a rock overlooked by the groundskeeper renders Nobbla unconcious. Quickly stuffing the chainsaw under the stretcher where the REF wouldn't see it, Nobbla was taken to the dugout, where he proceeds to spend the rest of the match in blissfull sleep, dreaming of chainsaws and dwarven blood.

Meanwhile, with the Chaos Dwarf coach distracted by the drama unfolding downfield, Chaos Warrior Strygalldwir makes a breakaway to race to the endzone and bring in the game winning score.

The second half of the match proved uneventful, as a nice pass by the agile hobgolin Gronk led itself to a hobgoblin racing downfield despite the pouring rain, where he was quickly tackled by the speedy Chaos defense. The ball bounced loose and was snatched up by a chaos dwarf fan, but the ref forced him to throw it back inbounds, helping out his team by tossing it right into the path of one of the Chaos Dwarves' Bull Centaurs. Things were looking grim for the chaos team as the bull centaur, in an amazing display of agility, picked the ball up off the field. The Chaos defense however was up to the task, and dodging away from the line, knocked the ball loose once more, where a beastman quickly scooped it up and moved it midfield. There the game degenerated into a frenzy of arms and legs and horns, all trying to move the ball in one direction or the other. But time ran out for the Chaos Dwarves, and the ref blew the whistle ending the game at a score of Chaos 1, Chaos Dwarves 0.”