“Reported live as the last whistle sounded the end of the match. from Fist Fighta ! as Team captain, Waaarrrahhgg ! is recovering from an injury, but dont worry, he will be fighting fit for da next game!

"Well wutz can we say relee... beginin of da match sum ov our playas waz complanin of ilnuss, dam stupid grots!! so we wuz down sum playas. wid our coach opin fo a victory, we ad all bin drinkin squig juices befora da game, i alzo saw Biff eatin sum fungus da naughty bugga heh he, so we waz all pumped full o fightin juce for da game, but as it got undaway we waz gettin bashed by dem big loo roll buggas!! we waz bein beaten >< we is da orcs!!, dis made us very mad, and in da second gam we wen all out and did as much bashin as we could, we wanid to giv all dem fans summit to shout aboot! we made sum pretty good passes by orc standards, and we thought we mite o had it, but dem filthy grot bagz o da team kept droppin da ball!! we wuz pretty proud o wen we bashed ova one o dem big mummeez!, den, finaly afta a long game da dead people managed to get da ball to another dead ooman thing. and dey waz nearin da touchline, so iz shouted to Big Urg ! as i wuz fending off more dead to go blitz im hard, Big Urg ! was pumped an he went for it da tough lad, but as he neared da bugger bloomin tripped ova on some of Gooontar's dam fungus ee left ova dat he adnt finished dat stupid grot!! and weex lost da game, so afta we all bashed im in da locker room, we ope to continue iplayin as well as we did,"

good gam aye givs yu smelly dead dat. but we hit arder next time!

”