“After the Dose lost their 3rd match in 4 games. Great Pharoah Itchy Bean Bag (in spirit only, and in an understanding of a non-contractual agreement) decided to keep a journal.

"Those who are without dust and breathing difficulties came to the pitch. Bouncing, skipping, patting one anothers' expulsion areas to make each other feel better. I failed to see to see 2 treemen in the crowd bring 34,000 house-bricks wrapped in a sock. Before I new it I took the full weight of this sock on my cranial bandages and had to concentrate really, really hard to come back from dusty nirvana. Jimmy was killed by a foul straight after so we spent some time trying to out-concentrate each other (I keep sticking a wet finger in his ear to put him off but he can really concentrate can old Jimmy).

The lapdancer (something new to me) was no end of trouble and they scored twice before we knew which dust was up. We went into the end of half drinks and expulsion area pats 2 down.

We came back out for the 2nd half with a new tactic - punch them full-force in the forward expulsion areas. They can't dodge whilst screaming and with their knees slammed together. Well, it worked amazingly well.

The Suspects went down quicker than $2 hookers all with puttied gonadds. Even the lapdancer went off the pitch I sure I saw her punch herself in the face and leap off the pitch but dust was in my eyes and I'll have to see the replay. We managed a consollation td but lost the game.

Oh well time to dust off my 'Tactica Dispicubuli' and make a new entry, "Grab Woodies by the meat and 2 veg and they are gonnas".

Rub my bean bag for luck, then on to the next match."
”