“Luck readings are out due to multiple server crashes.
----
WARNING WARNING WARNING

This match report may contain language that is distasteful.

If you are easily offended or sensitive look away now.

The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:

Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
------------------
What a bizarre game! The Falcons were up against the wall at the start with Virus and It Wasn't Me taking out four great players from their line-up.

However, Girly Inc was the victim of some obscene bad luck in the first half and they were dice raped out of any chance of a close game.

To start the match Girly Inc positioned on one side of the field only to watch in horror as their Thrower failed to pick up the ball (with Sure Hands) on the other side of the field on a short kick.

The Falcons stormed the area and stole the ball before running in a TD to steal an early 1-0 lead. To rub salt into the wound, the Falcons blitzed on the next kick off with a very short kick (the ball landing on the Girly Inc's side of the line of scrimmage) and the Falcons stormed their way through to a commanding 2-0 lead.

The bad luck icing on the nuffle cake was my last two turns on defence against the last kick off to Emphasy resulting in two Badly Hurts, one being his kicker and the second an AG4 Guard Pass Blocking Leaping player.

Now it was the Girly Inc who were starting a half up against the wall. In defence, their bad luck continued with one of their pass blockers leaping their way into the casualty bin - very unlucky for Emphasy and bad coaching from me because I didn't even see that the player had pass block.

Anyway, it was soon a 3-0 lead to the Falcons despite. On offence, Girly Inc resorted to a loose cage up near the line of scrimmage as they were running out of options, luck and decent players.

The Falcons stole the ball and ran it deep, only to lose it back to Girly Inc. In a continuation of the dice rape, the Falcons intercepted (needing 8+) the Girly Inc pass and took the scoreline to 4-0.

Girly Inc scored a consolation TD when the Falcons forgot there were 2 turns left and rushed too many players into the Girly Inc half. Girly Inc suddenly found there were gaps everywhere and set up an easy TD to finish the match on a mini-high.
-----
My condolences to Emphasy. A great and sporting coach who had no chance with the rotten dice rolls that he suffered at the most critical times. Nothing much worked for him this game whereas nearly important break/roll went my way.

Still, he played well and was very sporting despite the crappy luck so full credit to this worthy opponent.”