“Despite sunny weather and a perfect pitch, todays match between Red Wonz Go Fasta and the Woodsy Sing-Song Joyous People turned out to be something less than the usual elegant display from the elves.

Perhaps the best indication of what was to come was the very first play in the game - when Gotsmek of the RWGF smashed his fist into the face of Sunrise and broke his nose. Of course everyone understood it was just childish banter - boys will be boys, especially orks - but it did set the tone for a concerto of pain for the elves.

And what is worse, the elven ability to dance around the worst of it failed today - most noticably when Eventide, the thrower, stumbled on his own back line, giving away a free touchdown on the last turn of the match.

The first regular defeat of the team - but at least this time round, no one tried to eat the head coach after the match.”