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This match report may contain language that you find distasteful.

If you are easily offended, sensitive, have no sense of humour, or have had something tragic happen to yourself or a loved one then look away now in case you have a reaction to something in the report.

The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:

Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
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A very unlucky game for my opponent.

Firstly, no virus and all three of my nigglers make the game. My opponent has one niggler and he fails his roll!

Some really cruddy rolls for my opponent at the wrong time meant he had no chance against a far superior team.

But at the end of the day, no one got hurt and we both got money so a good outcome apart from his lost fan factor.”