“It was rats and lizards in the first game of round five, but the Offord Invitational's fanbase showed little interest in their encounter. Poor ticket receipts aside, though, both sides put on a showstopper.

Proceedings began amusingly, with Little Dave and emerging star Repkar Swifttail failing to "go for it," leaving the ball not far from where it had been kicked. Unperturbed, Sithek Lightpaw took a mazy run through the throng of reptiles and threw an improbable pass, finding a useful target. 1-0, touchdown Repkar.

A ferocious kickoff blitz made it two, with dual gutter runners combining a block and scoop of the loose ball despite Awesomely Awful's valiant efforts to close down the play. Big Dave had the last laugh, though, bashing Putrid soundly into the realms of serious injury. VC's apothecary laughed derisively - bandages only went to the stars. In fact, the rat-medic spent his entire game sipping on a dry martini and warpstone, not at all interested in what Big Dave might be doing to the linerats. Disease's smashed ankle looked particularly nasty.

Back on the field, Awesomely Awful punished the Casualties for placing gutter runners at the front of their widezone, matching the weakest rats against hulking Saurus. Protecting the ball for one turn left VC's position weakened enough for a skink run. 2-1.

The second half began with a rapid touchdown from the irrepressable Repkar Swifttail, who shook off a Saurus challenge with apparent ease to raise his tally to a dizzying 9 this tournament. Cruel fate then intervened to make it 4-1, Weenie Dave falling on an attempt to "go for it" and leaving a gap which Mold happily exploited.

The Casualties were running out of steam by this point, their dugouts once again heaving with dazed or injured players. Sithek Lightpaw tried to make it five, but Deadly Dave showed the rat nicknames aren't just for show. The ball ended up mired in a mass of players from both teams, and an attempted handoff to the fumble-fingered Kroxigor was hardly going to help matters.

Where to next? The 6th round, of course!”