This match report may contain language that you find distasteful.
If you are easily offended, sensitive, have no sense of humour, or have had something tragic happen to yourself or a loved one then look away now in case you have a reaction to something in the report.
The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:
Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
------------------
What can I say, my opponent had some really really bad luck...
The handicaps were suckful... Smelling Salts, Virus (no nigglers), Get the Ref 2 and Duh Where am I? (the last worked a treat, with 3 failures from the first 7 rolls)..
Anyways, the Guardians start in offence and on the first turn cause a niggle on one of the clubbers two tacklers. The clubbers respond by badly hurting the Guardians best catcher (AG5 Blodge Sidestep Tackle) only to then have one of their best linemen (Str 4 Blodge) badly hurt by the Guardians on their way to a TD! Brutal start with 3 good players taken out in the opening 3 turns.
Both teams scored 2 more TDs in the opening half without further injuries to give the Guardians a 3-2 lead going into half time.
The second half started with the clubbers falling for a sneaky Guardians trap. A juicy Str 2 Catcher was on the wings and my opponent took the bait and blitzed him... who doesn't like a two dice blitz using just one player? The Catcher sidestepped onto the sidelines and my opponent had to dodge past my Wardancer to get past. My opponent forgot to check and my Diving Tackle came into play and tripped him up!
The ball was in the open and I swooped in and stole it. A fight for the ball followed, and the Guardians with some luck managed to hold onto it and score another TD, badly hurting another of the clubbers' starting 11 on the way through.
At 2-4 down, the clubbers found themselves in immense trouble when they dropped a backfield pass (snake-eyes) and the Guardians stormed through again. Luck was with the Guardians as their ball carrier survived some 8 dice worth of blocks without any pows coming up. My opponent continued to attract the bad luck when he rolled a one dice skull elsewhere and badly hurt
The dice rape was not over for my opponent as the next drive started with a thrown rock killing his AG5 Wardancer. Of course the apothecary failed. This ruined an otherwise pretty fun match up to now.
My opponent failed a leap a bit after this and I was able to secure the ball and score once more to finish the game.
---------------
It was very unfortunate for my opponent that the rock killed his best player and then the apothecary failed. Up to that point, it had been a pretty fun game for both of us apart from the first turn niggle and the odd bit of bad luck for kingbee to give him no chance of winning.
The failed apothecary put a real downer on the game for both of us (more so for my opponent of course).
Anyways, I wish my opponent a good recovery. He was a good sport and it was very unlucky for him to get maimed so.
One more thing, kingbee thought he always has really bad luck against me and that I always maim him.
We played once six months ago with different teams. I did win 4-1 thanks to some luck helping me, but he caused two BH on me, and I caused 1 on him. Certainly not a massacre of his players. He did roll a 1 or something for money however and that stuck in both our minds.
Anyway, hopefully the clubbers will recover strongly and may face me again sometime down the track and the dice will not be so cruel.
”
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WARNING WARNING WARNING
This match report may contain language that you find distasteful.
If you are easily offended, sensitive, have no sense of humour, or have had something tragic happen to yourself or a loved one then look away now in case you have a reaction to something in the report.
The following terms may or may not be used in the following match report:
Assault
Bad coaching
Bad luck
Bash
Block
Bloody
Crap
Crud
Dice
Dice rape
Hit
Lucker
Lucky
Murder
Smash
Splatt
Unlucky
Useless
------------------
What can I say, my opponent had some really really bad luck...
The handicaps were suckful... Smelling Salts, Virus (no nigglers), Get the Ref 2 and Duh Where am I? (the last worked a treat, with 3 failures from the first 7 rolls)..
Anyways, the Guardians start in offence and on the first turn cause a niggle on one of the clubbers two tacklers. The clubbers respond by badly hurting the Guardians best catcher (AG5 Blodge Sidestep Tackle) only to then have one of their best linemen (Str 4 Blodge) badly hurt by the Guardians on their way to a TD! Brutal start with 3 good players taken out in the opening 3 turns.
Both teams scored 2 more TDs in the opening half without further injuries to give the Guardians a 3-2 lead going into half time.
The second half started with the clubbers falling for a sneaky Guardians trap. A juicy Str 2 Catcher was on the wings and my opponent took the bait and blitzed him... who doesn't like a two dice blitz using just one player? The Catcher sidestepped onto the sidelines and my opponent had to dodge past my Wardancer to get past. My opponent forgot to check and my Diving Tackle came into play and tripped him up!
The ball was in the open and I swooped in and stole it. A fight for the ball followed, and the Guardians with some luck managed to hold onto it and score another TD, badly hurting another of the clubbers' starting 11 on the way through.
At 2-4 down, the clubbers found themselves in immense trouble when they dropped a backfield pass (snake-eyes) and the Guardians stormed through again. Luck was with the Guardians as their ball carrier survived some 8 dice worth of blocks without any pows coming up. My opponent continued to attract the bad luck when he rolled a one dice skull elsewhere and badly hurt
The dice rape was not over for my opponent as the next drive started with a thrown rock killing his AG5 Wardancer. Of course the apothecary failed. This ruined an otherwise pretty fun match up to now.
My opponent failed a leap a bit after this and I was able to secure the ball and score once more to finish the game.
---------------
It was very unfortunate for my opponent that the rock killed his best player and then the apothecary failed. Up to that point, it had been a pretty fun game for both of us apart from the first turn niggle and the odd bit of bad luck for kingbee to give him no chance of winning.
The failed apothecary put a real downer on the game for both of us (more so for my opponent of course).
Anyways, I wish my opponent a good recovery. He was a good sport and it was very unlucky for him to get maimed so.
One more thing, kingbee thought he always has really bad luck against me and that I always maim him.
We played once six months ago with different teams. I did win 4-1 thanks to some luck helping me, but he caused two BH on me, and I caused 1 on him. Certainly not a massacre of his players. He did roll a 1 or something for money however and that stuck in both our minds.
Anyway, hopefully the clubbers will recover strongly and may face me again sometime down the track and the dice will not be so cruel.
”