“[Fumbbl Cup IV Round 1]

After an evening full of motivational work (that mostly consisted of listening to "Natural Born Killaz" by Dre and Cube and "With Karate I'll Kick Your Ass" by Tenacious D over and over) the Tribez decided it was time for their and coach Parallax' debut in a big [R] tournament.

Darkie's Dreams, a well-known and dreaded team of seasoned Dark Elves under the supervision of Sinner were drafted as the first challenge.

Luckily, the Tribez' sponsoring plan was quite successful, and they managed to amass as much as 410'000 gold pieces for the start of the Fumbbl Cup IV. But being the stingy slowenian bastard that he was, Parallax decided to only spend a mere 40'000 of them (to hire Nobbla or more precisely, his chainsaw) seeing as how the gruesome elves were already underscore and had little hope of getting a positive casualty ratio in this very first game.

Handicaps rolled: Illegal Drugs, Bribe The Ref 2, Iron Man
Illegal Drugs were given to the already monstrous "Inneb Eickler", who further boosted his strenght beyond superelven measurement. "Norica Glichu", one hell of a witch was appointed Iron (Wo)man and did a wonderful job absorbing a lot of damage done by the green ones.

Just immediately after the kick-off, the ferocious orcs started doing what they could best: damage. One after another, the Dreams fell victim to aggressive orcish manhandling and subsequently, quite a few of them were sent to the KO and some to the injury box while the orcs were able to consolidate and secure tight control of the ball mid-field. Only Nobbla proved to not be worth his money, as he was smitten by a witch and injured by his own chainsaw. A hard task it turned out to be, playing these Dark Elves, seeing as how they had sidestep everywhere! The crowd started to cheer after "Lil Marlon" almost died to the hands of ever-powerful "Tarek", the Tribez' strongest player and self-appointed mascot. But the doctors did a well enough job and saved the Linelf from a cruel fate very early in the first half. (He later got seriously injured as "Ioleth", the Tribez dirty player, "accidentally" tripped and elbowsmashed the prone elf in the face and chest simultaneously)

Seeing as how the elves were probably broken in spirit, Parallax instructed his team to go for the touchdown at a moment, that was later perceived as "one too early" by Parallax himself and spectators alike, leaving his ballcarrier in good, but not perfect cover. The dark elves saw their chance and struggled to gain control of the ball, but bad luck on their side resulted in the ball being dropped in the elves endzone, where it was picked up a turn later (8) by "Raleigh", scoring the first touchdown with 4 or 5 opponents left on the field.

Two kickoffs later the orcs were unhappy to realize that ALL of the KO'd dark elves were back on the field! Frustrated, the greenies concentrated on their defense, but the bloody and vicious playstyle of Darkie's Dreams gained them a momentum, which they could keep until turn 6 where they had to score under orcish pressure, using their scaringly huge "Inneb Eickler". Many dirty deeds were done in those 6 turns, mostly by the dark elves:

In turn 1 "Marek" left the team after a critical failure of the team's apothecary (who left the team too consequently - well, parts of him did)
An orc blitzer was badly hurt.
Two orcs were sent to the KO box as they fell victim to unexpectedly strong blows by "Inedan Blussilef", the elves second, inexperienced witch.

Having three turns left, the orcs struggled once again to cut deep lines into the ever-vicious elven defense hurting some of them (most notably, they killed "Okin Nnamhod", a rookie player) and paying them back for what they did to the Tribez so far. Although the orcs fought hard, they were unable to outsmart the elves (who in their last turn, managed to secure the ball by leaping and dodging magnificiently). So it was straight to overtime.

Tribez were randomly chosen to kick off, but balanced out their bad luck by gaining another RR, which made the whole struggle realistic again (they had none left by the end of the regular time)

Once again Darkie's Dreams played their momentum right, just not quite as successful as several turns ago, receiving more damage than they did (although they manage dto out "Porcio Secondo", the orcs brilliant thrower). And once again, the orcs underestimated their speed, which was punished by another security-touchdown by "Inneb Eickler" who was playing an awesome 24 turns.

And again, the orcs were left with three turns. Frowning at their fate, some of them already were predicting their own loss by speculating on a consistantly good defense that put quite some pressure on coach Parallax and forced him into some risky rolls, one of which promptly failed, sealing his teams fate in this cup.

What a bummer!

Thanks for the game, it was very entertaining.

Good luck in the cup, Sinner! You'll have a hard time with your 9 players, so you'll need every bit of it :-)”