“Team ratings are not everything, it emerged as the high-flying Vermin Casualties took on the languishing Cheesecakes.

Everything seemed as though it would run smoothly when emerging star Repkar Swifttail leapt over a line of thralls and bored deep into the opposing half. The cheers turned to gasps, though, as an eponymous Cheesecake floored the rat and sent him packing all the way to the casualty bin. Vampires were hungry, however, and gummed up the first half play enough that VC could force a touchdown.

Careless blocks from the Casualties created plenty of bloody fur for the apothecary to meditate on. His maniacal cackling lasted well into the second half, where the Cheesecakes executed an excellent caged play. Rolling down the pitch, crushing any rats unfortunate enough to stand in their path, they established domination over proceedings to the point that a real upset seemed likely.

With two turns left to play, VC knew they had to gamble, and deployed Krispin Braveclaw to the very front of the widezone. A bad kick brought the chance they needed. Krispin ran so deep that only one vampire could reach him. With no worse contact than a shove, the last-minute touchdown came down and the match was secure. Just.

As a postscript, it appears Filth may well be sacked from his Captain's position. The kicker has managed to succumb to a second serious injury, demonstrating disappointing resilience in the role, despite a great deal of enthusiasm. Repkar Swifttail has already refused the accolade, citing the unfortunate beatings suffered by its previous holder. With the thrower Giblak Hurlum spending this match in jail on suspicion of indecent assault, a Captain has yet to present himself. ”