“Radiant Arrogance returned to league action cresting another wave of pomp and bluster. Gold and cream shot uniforms spread gleaming ripples of light across the pitch as each player waved nonchalantly to the crowd. The swaggering strides of the elves showed their confidence of winning this encounter with the Khemri, a team renowned for its lack of ball handling ability.

The starting whistle saw Sir Robert Munificent, virtuous and gallant Lion Warrior of the team, aiming for the ball after a Chapstick fumble. Grace was not on his side, however, as he was knocked out unceremoniously, ending up missing the rest of the match.

Rattling skeletons bundled for the ball as the leaping elven defenders ate dirt. Only through a truly epic display of agility did Gerald Princely retrieve some glory by finding Hubert Snoot in the endzone. Trumpets, dignified cheers - "hurrah" - 1-0.

As Cyril Ponceworthy paused to preen himself, the next drive had already begun. Chapstick Warriors closed down the play, making it a struggle for the Radiants to hold back for half time. But hold they did, if only to buy a respite where Master Surgeon Amaren could waft smelling salts under the dented helmets of several woozy players.

The second half became a tale of knockouts - it seemed there was little the elves could do which did not involve them slumping in a distinctly unco-ordinated heap. Nevertheless, it appeared the defence had edged victory when a lightning counter-pass by Pwn put skeleton Hayley alarmingly close to the line.

"But I thought the Undead couldn't /play/ Blood Bowl!" Sir Cyril huffed, somewhat exhausted after several fistfights with the opposition. Around him, only three players still held the field. Nine inhabited the knockout benches. Last gasp backtracking fell in the face of a particularly brutal mummy. 1-1, full time.

Asked if he was disappointed the Radiants appeared out of contention for the tournament, "Ponceworthless" responded with a broad smile.

"Let me just say that I have been making some arrangements, and there will be two rather special surprises waiting for our adoring fans in the next match. There is not a spectator alive who does not realise our players are vastly superior to any opposition and this defeat came purely down to terribly bad luck. And soon, Radiance shall be the greatest show in Altdorf!"”