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If you're in trouble he will save the day.
He's brave and he's fearless, come what may.
Without him the mission would go astray.
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.
Without him life would be much grimmer.
He's handsome, trim, and no-one slimmer.
He will never need a zimmer.
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.
More reliable than a garden strimmer.
He's never been mistaken for Yul Brynner.
He's not bald, and his head doesn't glimmer.
Master of the wit and the repartee.
His command of space directives is uncanny.
How come he's such a genius?
Don't ask me!
Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.
He's also a fantastic swimmer.
And if you play your cards right
Then he just might come round for dinner.