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Convinced that he is the legendary Captain Redbeard Rum, the famous Norse corasair, despite the fact that Rum is now at least 70 years old and lost both legs years ago.
Be very very careful about starting a conversation with Redbeard Rum. Any reference to either an item of clothing or bodily part leads to extended diatripes on how the aforementioned object couldn't be either inserted or otherwise used to help a sinking ship.