II
In contrast to most other immortals, Bowerick Wowbagger was not born one, but became immortal due to an accident with "an irrational particle accelerator, a liquid lunch, and a pair of rubber bands". Unlike other immortals whom he calls "a load of serene bastards", he doesn't cope very well with his infinite life, having particular problems finding something to do on Sunday afternoons. Eventually he comes up with a plan to keep himself busy: he will insult every single living being in the universe - in alphabetical order.