Today we salute you Mr. Athlectic Groin Protector Inventor
(Mr. Athlectic Groin Protector Inventor)
People love to play sports, but they don't love it when they get hit in the twig and berries.
(Oooooooooooooooooh)
For years cringing fans watched as man after man went down,
But then you came along and said here, stick this in your pants.
(Ah, nice to meet you)
The arrant head butt, the inside fastball, the wayward high five
All no match for your crash helmet
(Bring it on)
Sure, some athletes shun them, but don't worry, they'll come around
(Show us the way)
So crack open a ice cold Bud Light protector of the package, and know that we're just nuts about you.
(We're just nuts about you)