<b>Principal Seymour Skinner</b>
Also known as "Spanky" and "Skinny Boy," Principal Skinner rules the hallowed halls of Springfield Elementary with an iron fist, if only in his mind.
In reality, he is the frequent butt of jokes in the teachers' lounge, a constant target for Bart Simpson's schoolyard pranks.
When not conducting fire drills, augmenting the school lunches with shredded newspaper, polishing the statue of the school mascot, or calculating detention time for Bart, Skinner can be found at his desk, reliving, through vivid flashbacks, the more horrific moments of his experience as a Green Beret in 'Nam.
Though he still lives at home with overly-protective mother, and purportedly wears a toupee, Seymour has managed to eke out a meager romantic life.
On one occasion he became enmeshed in a scandalous affair with Edna Krabappel, while on another he proposed to Patty Bouvier.
When Patty, turned him down, the broken-hearted Skinner remained steadfastly optimistic, declaring,
"Tomorrow is another school day!"