The primary "architect" of the "ship", Boatsawin Bartholomew does the most to keep the unseaworthy vessel "afloat" (which is surprising difficult even though the thing has never once left land). He took his name after a pirate who captured 400 ships. Bartholomew took the name, hoping one day to take 500 ships instead.

Touchdowns: 0

Casualties Caused: 0

Passes Completed: 0

Number of Ships Captured: 0