1st Game vs Gravesend Wanderers- Name says it all. What a Choad. The only reason he isn't sacked is the thought of him washing his own blood and bile out of his uniform pleases me. 1/10

2nd Game vs Fellhart's Fanatics- Got knocked out late in the game, but only managed to get in the way of one filthy elf. A real true life Choad! Uniforms were still filthy too. 1/10

3rd Game vs Wulfrik's Wanderers- Uniforms were filthy from the kick off, and beginning to smell bad enough to upset the Chorfs. My assistant coaches report informs me he was on the field for most of the game, but failed to do anything. An absolute balls out Choad. 1/10