We're all just Uncle Chuckles moving very quickly! Or being temporally displaced! Or begging for it all to stop because this is the purgatory of an angry Chaos god that thought circuses were muscling in on his territory as a purveyor of Wholesome Family Entertainment But Also With People Falling Over And Getting All Their Teeth Punched Out! If we believe the lie then the lie has no power and then the only thing that matters is putting on a Good Old-Fashioned Show for all the kiddies!

Have you ever met any kiddies? I've never met any kiddies. Rail thin urchins with pinched faces and fingers like boning knives, yeah; disgusting snot monsters that delight in producing goo not found in nature from every orifice imaginable, of course; tiny sociopaths who love nothing more than to hold down a grown man with a rusty straight razor to his neck and make him eat his own balloon animals, ten a penny. But never any kiddies. They go to the real circuses, with Ferris wheels, and trapeze artists, and fire-eaters, and strange clattering metal contrivances that serve edible versions of your grandad's ear hair but dyed pink and on a stick. Kiddies love the real circus, the real red and white big top made of weatherproofed canvas, or at least something that isn't mouldering old grain sacks held together with bent paper clips and hope. That's where the kiddies go, when they're not up the Blood Bowl with their dad. That's where you'll find the little rosy-cheeked cherubs turning purple with joy at the opportunity to be a child and love it for all this week buy tickets now to avoid disappointment. They want the circus. They don't want us.

We just wanted to make people happy.

But not like this.