Isn't it peculiar how the universe sometimes balances itself out in unexpected ways.

A year to the day after the birth of Zorch the Wester, young Milligan was born and immediately refused to face any direction other than east. Like Zorch, he learnt to live in this manner but the effects on mood were more positive. Constant sunrises and no sunsets had made Milligan a very optimistic character; full of beans and with nice things to say about everyone.

"Had" is the key word though as Milligan's time playing for the Shamoozle Kaboos has unfolded in a tragic manner. Without the steely darkness of Zorch, his comparative lack of skills led to frequent opponent Unending Glory targeting him as a weak link. Being punched regularly and removed from the pitch has whittled away at Milligan's self-confidence but hasn't been anywhere near as damaging as the taunts and insults sent his way from opposing players and manager alike. At this point in time Milligan is thoroughly depressed and it seems only a matter of time before he is put out of his misery; either through a trip to A+E or the grave.

Overheard on ref mic:

"Let me punch the dufus gaffer, I'll knock his block off" - Pewdiepie
"You're a worthless piece of shit and everyone hates you" - El Rubius
"We don't hate him the most, we just love to punch him the most" - Muff2n
"Look, it's the Easter bunny! What a t**t" - JuegaGerman
"Why didn't you bring your shit guy!?" - Applesbury Banqueters
"We'd rather be a freakish combination monster than be you" - Vladenstein and Nikitaenstein
"In a West end town a dead end world, Western boys and Eastern girl" - Badabun
"If a turd and a maggot had a baby it'd be you" - Dude Perfect