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Count Filip "Neck Cruncha"
A charmer of women, and a true casanova when it comes to charming the finer ladies.
Many men have stood in Count Filips way, husbands, fiances, and even princes and kings. The success of such a tender affair requires an attuned sense to peoples emotions.
A list by Count Filip in order to charm the one you desire:
1. Battleaxe, decorated with hearts and flowers.
2. Dead body of the persons husband/freinds/family. Decorated with flowers.
3. A donkey. (Trolls suggestions, preferdly stuffed with goblins)
4. Hopes, and yet more battleaxes.
5. Perhaps a poem, and wrap it up in a big:
WWWWAAAGHHHHHHHH, more tea mylady?