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Big Guy
Mighty Blow
Stand Firm
Take Root
Thick Skull
Throw Team Mate
Poor Bert was brought up as a bonsai tree by some Japanese students in art college. They told him that he was going to be their star exhibit in the show, but rejected him in favour of an abstract piece. In the end, understandably, Bert flipped and destroyed the abstract art, ripping apart the parts of the sofa, or as the students called it "Abstract Sofa Without Fat Slob Sitting On It". Fortunately, Bert didn't go to the W.A.N.T. (Woodcutting Association for Naughty Trees), as the student said that he had improved the art, making it more abstract and artful.
However, Bert was sent to anger management classes by the court, which is why he is now in the Ethical Endurer's village, Happinathakos.
Hobbies: Sitting around, Burying his head in the ground, Basic yoga
Favourite Food: Minerals from the earth
Motto: "Don't think angry, Think can't be bothered"