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<b><font color="#000000" face="Arial,Helvetica" size="+1">Game 9, CD Burners</b></td><!--
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<td><b><i><font color="#C00000" face="Arial" size="3">CD Burners got BURNED!</font></b></i>
So, today I caught my teams own kick-off and rushed the ball into the endzone before any of my clumsy dorf opponents had so much as moved. They stood there as if struck by lightning, or by a Blitz rather, wondering what had just happened. They're slow movers, those guys, and even slower thinkers, but in this case they got a good excuse: I JUST BLEW THEIR MINDS.
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<b><font color="#000000" face="Arial,Helvetica" size="+1">Game 13, Raiders Squad</b></td><!--
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<td><b><i><font color="#C00000" face="Arial" size="3">Names starting with Lor- have short careers</font></b></i>
Rough game today, tied for our highest loss to date. Too many causalities to stand a chance against a full-sized squad of Raiders with plenty reserves in the box. Then Pain slipped near our endzone and conceeded an easy touchdown. Raiders took the gift and it was clear we wouldn't win this one. So Ghosthand and I decided to have our own little fun and to take out our frustration on our opponents. I smashed the hand of some line named Lorku, ended his career right there, short while later Ghosthand nearly killed one fast bugger of a Blitzer who had been causing us trouble the whole game together with that mountain-sized mutant freak of his. Now get this, the Blitzers name? Lornu. Lorku and Lornu. Parents, take heed, if you want your kids to have long and healthy lifes, don't give 'em names starting with Lor and ending in -u with some random consonant in between. Something 'bout it, makes you want to rip their throats out and stomp their face in.
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