Perhaps the single worst player ever collected from spare parts, after seven games (one missed) Stitches has yet to do much more than find creative new ways to lie down on the field. Often the first player knocked out of the game, and useless as teats on a bull otherwise, suspicion is that he was brought to life not with a bolt of lightning crashing from the sky, but rather with a partially depleted AA battery stolen from Igor's second hand PSP.