Old friend of Ratsputin who convinced him to join the team. By the time Bible John joined in, however, Ratsputin had already been killed and ironically Bible John was hired to fill the space his best friend had left in the team. He seemed a promising player, scoring a touchdown in one of his first games, but his career was halted by a dirty fouling hobgoblin who broke his collar bone and forced him to retire. Bible John is now the Blocking-coach of the team.