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The way this guy moans, you'd think he had 5 niggles. Excuses he's made for non-attendance at important matches include "a bit of a cold, " "can't, sprained my fingernail last night" and the classic "my dog ate it Sir." Probably thick enough to think the coach actually believed his lame scool-days homework ploy, he probably doesn't realise Cool Hand Luke is shagging his missus........