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%!*£ Rating: <b>7 / 10</b>
Somebody hurt this guy fast. I'd put a target on him if I could, but you'll tell him easy enough, he'll be the one that runs like a duck. What a %!*£.
<b>N.B. While reading this players bio, the real Robert Pires dived four times, got four free kicks, three players booked and pretended to be dead a number of times. All this and he wasn't even on a football pitch, or within 100 yards of another human being.</b>