Lance "Headache" Jones got his nickname from the fact he always get a headache on game day. Other, more minor, teams let Headache Jones go because he tended to miss a few games here and there and on more than one occasion, lay prone on the field for an entire half, complaining of a headache. He owns stock in Buzzy's Brand Headache Pills, since he goes through about a bottle a week. The Amazing Mediocres have hired him to fill the gaps up front and stand in the way of hard hitters.

<b>[[Game 31]]</b>
Headache Jones did the job he was supposed to do. Instead of a blitzer falling under the boot of a dirty player, Jones took it. He got the biggest headache of all.